Spare Change

Getting out of unearthing the 2016 posts for now, but they certainly will make their way back to circulation.

As I approach the end of a journey, I find it mandatory for me to wrap up my thoughts, in a post, which I will decide whether to make public or not. 

Aaaaand, on this Pilot Episode of Me Writing So I Feel Better About Myself Before I Travel, I start off with

Fuck. 

Okay, that’s going public. 

Kidding aside, well. Right now I’m just thinking to myself that I’m not getting any younger, and there are a million and one things that still need to be done, and I’m going to go to more places to get started on what I’ve wanted to do since the beginning of (my) time. 

And while you may think these are grandiose things such as owning my own private continent (ala Calvin) or finding a cheap, if not free cure for cancer, they’re really things that focus on myself more than anything else. I understand, even then you get get grandiose. Do handstands. Do handstand pushups. Do planches. Planche pushups. Plance to Handstand fucking pushups. 

Ahem. Really, I wouldn’t call it acting my age, or what. It’s more just doing what I’ve always wanted to do, knowing Christ always wanted me, and now has me. For as long as I remember, I’ve said I’ve wanted to enjoy Christ and His finished work, and there certainly is no stop to that train. Yeah, there’s definitely some tension, friction, and other barriers to getting to what other things I thought I wanted done, but one thing I’m pretty sure I’ll be doing until the last physical breath I take towards forever, is to enjoy Christ.

I’ve improved a little, I guess. I mean, there were times I would go to other places and spend too much time stressing over how to spend my time the best way I could. This visit to the States, well, I’ve learned and realized more things that I usually would. 

Sign of maturity. Actually, that’s what I learned. I’m fucking mature. As in old. I really am not getting any younger, and while it’s certainly easy to subscribe to the suggestions of the man Ben Greenfield (who, for those of you who don’t know, is so into bio-hacking that he’s approaching his 40’s and has a literal body of a 20 year old), age is age. Hack all you want, the fall of man as explained in the book of Genesis pretty much summarizes one tragic lesson I learned from Fight Club:

On a long-enough timeline, the survival rate of anyone drops to zero.

And if this isn’t too true for me now, it’s certainly the case for a good number of other people – you know, the people whom the world turned their back on, saying it’s a miracle they live and breathe a day, hour, or minute longer than expected. 

Yeah, that’s one way to enjoy Christ, I figure. When you realize the fall of man and the stain and sting of death upon all of reality as our senses perceive, you certainly see the value of life. Thankfully, Christ doesn’t just give life, but eternal life – and He doesn’t just impart it, but in His goodness, He infuses it to us, that all that needs to be done on our end is to believe it and receive it. 

Getting ahead of myself there. But really, that seems to be how God’s goodness does lead us to repentance. 

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Repentance. Change of mind. Change of mindset. Enhancement of valued thoughts, while thoughts in the wayside are discarded or archived. Change of mind ushers change of body – transformation by the renewing of our mind, as Paul says. And while there is learning to be had, wherever we are, and whoever we’re with, for however long or short a period of time, I am entertaining the prospect of inducing change, to imply or to prove that change induces change. 

Change of atmosphere for a change of mindset, in that the mindset is made stronger. Change of environment. Change of pace. In my going to the gym since my teens and in all the exercise programs I’ve watched and gone through, one thing I do agree with is the apparent fact that switching up your workouts to what your body doesn’t expect makes it stronger and more resilient – muscle confusion, they call it. 

Confusion in the form of adventure. Switching things up. That seems to be the way to go.

How about my routines? How about those who are used to my routines? 

I suppose I would honor myself and those who depend on me (if any) by inducing controlled chaos into the mix, like you would inject yourself with a bit of polio to have the whole body stronger against it. 

If you’re still with me, this is a call for all of us to start 2020 now. Don’t wait till January to be caught up with everyone else trying to make a change. Make your change now. Do something. Get what you need done next year this year. 

Jocko Willink says discipline is freedom, and to elaborate, we discipline ourselves to wake up earlier, to do what we need to do, so we are free for longer times for the rest of the day. We discipline our exercise and nutrition today to be free of disease tomorrow. We discipline our spending today to be free of debt tomorrow. 

And so on and so forth. And not only with the idea of preventing loss, but as Christians, we certainly celebrate gain. 

See, this is how I enjoy Christ. Or at least how I plan to. To mix things up. To go further.

Change, and change, that I would see what remains. All this time knowing that Christ is with me, and even if my mistakes lead to the end of my physical life, I know that I have forever, right now. 

Not next year, right now. Not when I feel like starting, but right now.

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.