In Sleep-Writing ‘Purgatory’ – January 23, 2022 (23/365)

I’m surprised that my church team is now preferring that we record our services and broadcast them on Sunday afternoon. If we push through with doing that this coming Sunday, we would be doing so for the fourth consecutive week…

They cited our physical condition as one reason why they’re swaying my way towards more recorded sessions. And I certainly don’t blame them for thinking this way, because try as we might to observe all the protocols that have been thrown our way, some of us have been coughing, and if not, they have the sniffles. More than protocol observance to keep us out of trouble, I’ve reminded my team more than once to maintain an healthy lifestyle and have our bodies that much stronger against the changes in weather, as well as any viruses that may still be lurking about.

They also cited that we would be completing the change full circle if we recorded for the last Sunday of January, in hopes and anticipation that things would be better come February – better enough for us to have face-to-face services.

February situation notwithstanding, I will use this go-ahead by my team to do what I can to make this coming last Sunday of January 2022 great, in terms of the recording we will be sharing.

Currently not really in my element, mentally. I came home a little too late last night, and I thought it was a good idea to do a buzzer-beater of a message, well, buzzed. As I was editing I noticed that I wasn’t too shabby in keeping my lines coherent, and I was able to get things done before the actual broadcast at 2pm.

So far so good, but again, I’m dozing off right now. I didn’t have that much rest, and I’m a little too comfortable here on the couch, that I’m drifting into sleep in intervals longer than usual.

Of course, I still want to go ahead and get this done, because Lord knows what sort of value there is to be had especially during these times. See, right there. I just dozed off a little… but it is imperative that I get this done.

I’ve been noticing cycles in my life which are related to pain. In terms of ghosting, it’s sad, because I’ve been doing my fair share of it… and I wouldn’t be too suspicious or doubtful if they say that my being ghosted and left alone in the past has everything to do with all the pain I’m dishing out.

And speaking of pain, man, not only do I know how it feels to stay away from replying to all the messages that get into my conscience, I also know that whoever I’m doing this to has the very real possibility of feeling pain – A pain I’m too familiar with.

This is an example of a cycle of pain in my life which runs deep and certainly could not be treated in a matter of days. I feel people who do go to help for these things would get advice, similar to what I certainly would share – that this pain they dish out is rooted in the pain that they felt in the past, and that the said pain is their way of projecting fear that the next time around, they might be hurt again.

Of course at this point I would say stuff like, ‘perfect love casts out all fear’, and I totally agree with that… But it’s not necessarily the pinnacle of what we do and think about to address these fears and cycles of pain. If anything, to see perfect love only as a means for us to address fear, is to express disrespect over this pain-riddled reality, by way of introducing the concept of perfect love as the other side of the coin, the remainder of an incomplete cycle.

No, I propose today that this perfect love that we have in Christ casts out all fear, not by way of further introducing all sorts of intolerance but to bring us to a mindset that would have us in peace, whether we take sides on an issue, or we observe and respond from a step back, where we could see both sides in a given issue.

What I’m trying to say is that this perfect love truly takes away any inhibitions we have, where, in spite of our having our own decisions and preferences, we are actually even more excited to listen and observe other people – friends, enemies, and family – to truly see their own perspectives. Perfect love allows us to sit with anyone regarding any topic; from a position of perfect love abiding in us which would have us in power and at peace, we can genuinely listen to people who don’t share the same views as we do, and we are able to respond promptly, based on our being overwhelmed by the Savior who gave us the perfect love in the first place.

Personally, it’s the perfect love of Christ which had me observe these cycles of pain in the first place, but it’s not like I would go ahead and go on a witch hunt, but I would just be praising my God for His faithfulness in spite of these cycles which would have us in a longer period of unproductivity, and time spent in guilt and misguided introspection.

It’s also this perfect love which further reinforces where I ought to probably give more focus to – that is, cycles of progress. I would pay progression as I’ve experienced and seen, acted out by my very life as I am put in different situations, with different people. Seeing these cycles as they are reveals just that much more on how we were built. Gives us a sharper idea as to our preferences, even if we do understand that said preferences could change.

Still sleepy but I do intend to improve on it tomorrow. I pray we all have good weeks ahead. God bless you and keep you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: