Still In Progress – January 22, 2022 (22/365)

So today started off pretty interesting. I say interesting, and not surprising, because I had this in mind since last night – I was going to make breakfast my reset meal.

Let me explain. Back in 2018, I jumped into a program that would have me strictly watching my food intake just as much as I make sure I work out at least 30 minutes a day, every day, if possible. When I say watching my food intake, I mean making sure I don’t take in any processed foods, and especially cutting off on my sugar in all forms. This meant brown rice instead of white rice, more stevia than white or even brown sugar… taking in prescribed sachets of energy when I felt hungry between scheduled meals. This among other things.

One meal in the week was reserved for me to eat anything I want in a 30-minute window. That was called the reset meal. Back in the day I drove around in preparation for my very first reset meal – that was pizza, fried chicken wings, ice cream, pasta… and I was gorging in it within 30 minutes. You’d think I’d be happy about it but I felt pretty drained – this was where I saw the meaning of junk food. Proper food would have you feeling satiated, but you’d be ready to function within a smaller amount of time. Junk food would have you feeling sleepy immediately after the meal, implying that the entire body was involved in processing the processed chemicals and other gunk as it went through the body.

Today, it wasn’t as bad – I had McDonalds’ breakfast sandwiches, and a bowl of Lucky Charms. I minimized the dragging feeling, and was able to rebound.

This was all interesting, considering it was all a break from what I was used to doing since last Monday. I suppose I go back to regular programming starting tomorrow.

Right now my church team is recording worship to be broadcasted tomorrow. Really, I didn’t make any effort to hide that this was pretty much how I wanted to do church.. it was more preferred for me, even if the entire idea of church was to fellowship and congregate.

I guess it all comes from the thought that I ought to be fortified personally before I even try to fortify others.

Maybe I’m taking that idea a little too far by preferring to stay home and just doing my thing. Granted, I am exposed to countless distractions, but overall, the progress is more or less visible.

Maybe I’m shying away from fortifying others, choosing instead to push them so they could do their own thing, and therefore fortify themselves, at their pace, with their preferences.

Maybe it’s a combination of these things, or maybe I’m also not confident with how I am, personally. Maybe I ought to specify how I’m fortifying myself… and not in general terms, like fortifying myself financially, physically… I ought to be clear in declaring what this means for me.

There’s also the prospect of me having more control over the message I want to share to the people. In the case of a live broadcast, or a face-to-face service, there’s definitely less margin for a do-over. With a recorded message I could comfortably start from the top, or scrap an entire message altogether. I think I did that last week.

But now I’m just thinking to myself, is this going to be a permanent thing? If it does become a permanent thing the next thing that comes to my mind is to have more recordings, more broadcasts, and definitely more exposure.

Mid-week services. Recorded Zoom conversations. More pictures to edit, more graphics to share.

Initially, I don’t think I mind doing all this, because most of the latter – the videos, the pictures – if we could schedule them, if we could automate them, then we should, so we have more energy to expend during actual live interactions.

It’s certainly something to think about. The way I see it, we’re only going live because everyone else is used to having a live service. Maybe I adjusted a little too much to these pandemic protocols, and I’m actually enjoying doing church from the comfort of my own home.

It’s certainly not the old Normal… It may be the new Normal, but is it, as I would want it – a better Normal?

I hope it is.

So I thought I’d get any and every thought out of my head before I go ahead and work on my actual message for tomorrow. You’ve probably read a little about it in my previous post, but I intend to make another post about it following this one.

I’m actually surprised as to how things progressed. Or rather, I had one thing in mind, but then another thought hits me from left field and I’m left in these final hours of Saturday to ponder, to… comprehend what needs to be shared in tomorrow’s service.

I paused before saying ‘comprehend’ because that’s part of the message I think is on its way out tomorrow – that we ought to consider that the act of comprehension needs strength, and power from up high.

See, I’m reading from Ephesians 3, and the part of depth, height, length and width in particular. I thought I’d look into the rest of the chapter for context, and I was quite surprised with what I stumbled upon:

“I bow my knees before the Father… that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend… to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge”

So the way I took this is that we apparently need strength to comprehend ‘the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge’. Up until now I didn’t think to talk about God’s love in this manner… but I suppose it makes sense. I’ve been saying again and again the God is infinite and eternal, and therefore His love is infinite and eternal – of course, I’m led to believe that it does take some strength, by way of His Holy Spirit, to even comprehend said love.

Well, that’s what I have so far. Considering all I have on my plate now and later today, I could use from prayer. I pray to God for His guidance throughout all this.

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