I haven’t been behaving as much as I should have, today, and especially yesterday. Something I didn’t mention last night was I was out and I had a couple of drinks before coming home, writing, and retiring. I ate more than was expected of me before that, having consumed a far greater amount of carbohydrates in the form of white rice, bread and honey, compared to the meal I had last Monday. Indeed, I have not sabotaged myself the way I usually say I do, but that in itself was literally weighing me down. It does not help that I went out at the last minute at the behest of a friend who was leaving us for another country.
I’m sorry I’m writing this way. I’ve been watching The Last Duel, and so far, I haven’t been very convinced as to why people apparently did not like it. It’s also probably because I watch it, not only knowing of its reputation, but also because Ridley Scott acknowledges the said lampooning, responding to the lines of ‘people have been watching too many superhero movies lately’.
I’d have to agree. It’s all fantasy, it’s all a celebration of imagination, while this movie brings us back to the themes we do face in real life – the good men not getting what they deserve, the people in power not actually thinking the same way we do (I do like what one actor who I assume is a main antagonist said: ‘All they see are heroes and villains, they do not think the way we do’), themes of lust and our justifications which would have us and others think that it was real love, obsession and its consequences before, during and after acts of passion. I don’t think I spoiled too much of the movie there, and I think I will hold off on any further commentary until I actually finish the movie – I had to cut it short because I wanted to hit this word quota before enjoying what’s left of the evening.
But going back to my abrupt meeting, well, all I’ll say is that I drank, and in the state I was in, body recovering from all sorts of conflict – controlled starvation the day before, binging the day after, continuous weight training and hitting cardiovascular quotas (fancy words but all I’m saying is that I’m back to hitting 10000 steps a day as well) – I don’t think I was able to handle the little alcohol I had.
It’s not like I woke up today swearing to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ Almighty that I was never going to drink again… but I was hung over. A little more than I expected, anyway… enough for me to sleep in and leave other household duties which I thought I would be more diligent towards keeping, back to my cousin who is currently recovering from all the weather changes we’ve been experiencing here in Baguio.
A little inconsistency, I’m learning, does go a long way… and I’ve suffered said consequences today, and I don’t intend to make things any worse tomorrow.
I’ve had to update my mother on what’s been going on with business I’ve been immersing myself in since last year; I regret to report that I still am in the red – in other words, I have not yet earned back my initial investment, but I am confident that I am at least on my way, and at an acceptable rate at least.
In fact, the first part of the day was spent with me making a significant investment in what I mentioned to my mother was going to optimize things, as well as open more opportunities for expansion. As I probably mentioned in an earlier tirade of a thousand words, I went too much, too fast on re-investing in other ventures, expecting the same progression that I had with this one fortuitous approach. I’m a little wiser now, or at least I assume I am, in deciding to further fortify this one thing that’s doing a whole lot better, just to ensure I get out of the red faster, and that I have more capital to re-invest – just to understand that I have more impacts me in that I am probably closer to striking the balance of being at the right place at the right time, when it comes to taking maximum advantage out of the best opportunities I encounter.
Or, in other words, having more capital gives me more breathing space to practice more – and I’m finding out that the more we practice, the more we are able to actually find ourselves at the right place at the right time. More than us being adept, more than us being skilled, we are experienced to respond without any further thought, ensuring that our timing is optimal. Timing, I’m finding out, is just as important as quantity and quality.
All in all, as I reflect on these words that I’ve been churning out here, I could just say, that regardless of what capital I do have, what capital I still stand to make, or even if it all goes bust and I am left with no capital (which is extremely unlikely, but approached with enough respect to at least say it could still happen and we ought to be ready for it) – regardless of what happens, we have a failover, a safety net not of our own design: That is, that we are celebrating Life even in the real fear of death, we are celebrating Righteousness even in the face of the world’s fear of judgment, and we are celebrating Reconciliation, even in the reality laced with fear of rejection, and loss of hope.
I’m taking this time to just revel in the fact that so many centuries ago, the world was blessed with Jesus Christ, who through His time with us, revealed the true nature of God as a Father who wants nothing less than the best for us – not according to our flawed terms, but according to His perfect will. We hear it from His words, but we also know it through Christ’s actions – nothing to win and nothing left to lose, as the U2 song goes, He went ahead and lay all of His being in the greatest act of love.
I pray one and all who would read this would understand how I want this belief to just continue to saturate my entire being, further and further, that I would resonate all of what I believe, and that all would see the saving grace of Christ in my success and failure, in my wins and losses, in my fame and disgrace, indeed, in every breath, down to the last one my flesh would take in this reality.
We’ve gone from hungovers to business optimization, and here I am talking about Christ again. It is my sincere prayer that we would all come to this point of seeing eye to eye when it comes to the absolute power and peace we stand to live in and with, the moment we believe in Christ.
Enough of that, I suppose; It’s the middle of the week, and I pray that all of us would continue in consistency to hit our goals; I pray that all of us would have the fortitude to continue with our systems, so we would celebrate the goals we meet, sooner than later.
God bless you.