It’s sad, because I’ve been catching myself typing all these words out of obligation, instead of actually having something in my chest that I want to let out.
But I suppose these moments are welcome challenges as well, considering how I have experienced how certain points and ideas come mid-stream; Or, in other words, sometimes the inspirations come as you write, and not before you write. Sometimes the real thoughts come after one paragraph. Sometimes the real thoughts come after ten paragraphs. Sometimes they don’t come at all, or at least you don’t feel they come, but hey, I ought to keep reminding myself that it’s not really an issue if I feel those real thoughts coming out or not; all the efforts have been translated to these words, and they are up for interpretation one way or the other.
I have to remind myself constantly that it’s okay not to extract revolutionary thoughts each and every time.. That it’s okay not to feel like I actually made sense in all the drivel I’ve placed into Evernote and into WordPress. What’s important is the words are recorded or saved… and I’ll probably make sense of them later. I’ll probably get something out of them later. Better than trying to recall what was on my mind on a precise day completely from scratch; writing today is a service for JB in the future.
Now that I think about it, it’s a service for JB in the past, for there may be vindication for words I failed to say in the past days, weeks, months, and years. All this writing is also a service for JB in the present, because hey, who doesn’t appreciate recording thoughts here so there’s more ‘breathing space’ in our brains to process other things?
In this sense, I see writing just as beneficial as meditation, which is probably another reason why I force myself to do this. I placed the /365 denominator on every title in this series, because, daunting as the task may seem in these first moments of the year, I do intend to write for every single day for the rest of this year.
And hey, there may be things here that would incriminate me in the future; if we end up in a 1984-type society then there’s oodles of words and statements that would probably have me strapped to a table, with my mind being reprogrammed.
Now there’s a thought, but I’ve already settled in my own mind (and consequently, the rest of my being), that death is the best that this reality can do… but by the finished work of Jesus Christ I can say that the One who is able to send BOTH my body and my soul to the depths of hell.. this God who deals justice not only within but beyond the limits of time and space, He is for me and not against me.
That’s right, you’re sure to be reading a lot of Jesus in this series.
This opportunity to do two things at once – meditate, and write – is probably one reason why I keep on doing it, even if the thoughts of my not being able to churn out quality lines and paragraphs are just so overbearing even as I write my first words. It’s precisely why I also enjoy exercising – like I’ve explained to a lot of people before, yes, it’s nice to work out to lose weight, but to me, I believe the exercise is a celebration of our physical bodies, and also as our physical bodies move, our minds groove. That was from Jim Kwik, bless him.
As the body moves, the mind grooves. As the words come out, so the thoughts come out as well. I think it’s but natural, and as natural things go, we don’t have to actually have a feeling to know that it happens. In other words, we may not feel it, but the mind grooves when we work out. We may not feel it, but the thoughts do come out when we write.
So have I been getting any thoughts now that I’ve placed down a good deal of words? I’ll say yes based on what I just wrote… even if I don’t feel it. You have to understand, I’m writing all this while I am also observing my team as they practice worship to be recorded on Saturday. Bless them for their good singing, but I also have headphones on, because I’m listening to music on YouTube. Not exactly my idea of an optimal writing environment, but hey, I got a lot down so far.
The words are down, and therefore the thoughts are in place. I also worked out earlier today, so my mind was able to groove as well.
It’s funny because at the start of all this I was clearly saying that I was doing this out of obligation… but right now I guess I’m feeling the same way I usually do after a workout – there are endorphins to speak of after writing as well, just as there are these same human chemicals present after a good number of burpees.
The feeling of obligation at the start of all this has certainly been overturned by the peaceful feeling of accomplishment.
I do want to take this time to express my thanks to you, dear reader. By getting this far, you’ve endured me just dragging out and dumping all the thoughts in my head, converted just barely to be cohesive enough, as far as my efforts to make a thousand words work together are concerned.
I thank God for your patience and understanding. I don’t know exactly why you chose to make it this far, but nevertheless, I am thankful. I appreciate you, and I pray that the Lord just continues to bless you with beautiful observations, and just beauty, in all aspects. God willing, you saw some of that beauty in all this.
I hope things are okay in your part of the woods. Leave a comment, I don’t know, if you wanna talk or whatever.
God bless you.