The Force In Nothing (May Musings, II) – May 4, 2023 (125/365)

May the Fourth be with you… Because thith Fourth hathn’t been vewwy nithe to me.

Or, well, I could have avoided it. You can ask me now if there’s something specific that really grinds my gears, and it’s shooting the breeze, and talking without any sort of progression. I mean, I was in what was supposed to be a business meeting for most of this entire day.

See, I’m used to meetings of this type lasting for, oh, an hour or so? And actually, if it was an hour, that would already be pretty long. There would be an agenda, there would be points presented, and there would even be time for questions and clarifications, and the entire thing would be finished in an average of half an hour or so – and each and every one in the meeting would walk out of the room with some sort of update, some sort of roll-out; whether it be good or bad, all of us who jumped in would jump out with something we didn’t have before the meeting commenced.

I spent a good amount of this good day – oh, around 4-6 hours – and while we did spend some time praying (5 minutes?) and recognizing the traditions of our local brothers who were working with us on this project, the rest of it was just… I don’t know, random drivel. Or at least it ended up that way. At first I thought it was pleasant to just exchange stories and to catch up and get to know each other better, but somewhere along the way, I started feeling restless. It wasn’t helping that we were in temperatures a little hotter than we’re used to.

I mean I’ve had ideas in my head, reasons why these folk I was with weren’t necessarily in the same wavelength as I was. But for the life of me, I couldn’t think of a reason, I couldn’t understand how these men could just go on throughout an entire day talking about random stuff.

And I guess I started shifting from thinking it was pleasant, to thinking it was becoming a waste of time, when I thought of the other stuff that I needed to get done within this week. I needed to be as passive as possible as I pointed out the time to segue so I could leave, thinking they would take the hint and probably pack up themselves, but they clearly wanted to stay longer. As I drove away, I was talking to God, being all real with Him, asking Him, Lord, was I in the wrong there? Was I offending anyone by excusing myself?

I don’t know. Sorry, I just needed to rant. I guess I’m at that age where I hate time being wasted.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m no productivity guru. In fact, I’m as lazy as they come – but if I’m thrown into a situation where all I could do is endure idle time when I KNOW I could be doing better things, well, it just gets to me. I get restless, I get low-key angry during those times.

I’m feeling better now. I mean, I’m back home, I just let off some steam on the punching bag (that really helped, by the way), and I’m about to take a nice bath, but not before I type about all this. And I must admit, I’m feeling even better with each and every word.

And actually, as I’m typing all of this down, I’m realizing something. See, for the past days I believe that the theme I’m being brought to, and the theme I’m thinking I’m going to bring all y’all with me on, is one where we realize that which endures, and that which remains as Truth in this world where we have all sorts of facts facting up our entire reality. And again, that’s where the actual words to the theme came up, the more I dwelled on it:

Features of Love: Constants and Core Competencies

Up until today it’s been very easy for me to pull out some of these features I’ve seen for myself, and some of these personal constants and competencies custom to me have popped up in the face of testing; But I say ‘up until today’ only because, well, today, I drove away from that ‘meeting’ thinking that it was a total waste of time. There were no features from outside, nor personal constants or competencies from within that were realized and/or recognized while I ‘suffered’ that ordeal…

…And this absence of a constant actually brings out an absolute constant we all have in the body of Christ – that is, that Christ is our true Constant when we aren’t having the best of time figuring it out for ourselves. Oh, trust me, I was shouting on the drive back to civilization, faaaar before I wrote about it and ranted about it here. I just have to thank God for this moment, because even in these moments, yes – He is faithful.

Even in these moments when I suck at time management – yes, He is faithful. Yes, Christ is still Constant.

I mean, yeah. Call me out with a short attention span, addicted to dopamine and/or stimulation, or whatever… Call me heartless and not one to prioritize fellowship and relationships, but hey. However it truly is, I will take comfort in the fact, the Truth that Christ is still and will always be constant.

Christ is the starting point when it comes to our personal approach to appreciating God’s love. Christ is the first feature of God’s love for us… just as He is the first One who is competent in us, right to the core. That’s right, since He made us new and accepted in the beloved, from the inside out, that means that… well, not only is He the One competent (i.e. righteous and as mentioned earlier, accepted), He is THE Competency where we start off.

Apparently we gain, even when we lose.

I’ll keep on going but I’ll leave it here for now.

Again, additional thought before I forget: The gifts I give myself, and the gifts I’ve received as I turned 39. I’m thinking about factoring that in as I continue to write in the little moments of time I have in between all that’s going on.

Until the next post, God bless us all.

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