In The Dark – April 18, 2023 (119/365)

Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire;

he breaks out against all sound judgment.

Proverbs 18:1

Right off the bat I’m hit by this verse. In the past months I have been isolating myself as much as I could, telling myself that I need to work on myself. It’s not been all bad – I mean, I have been writing, editing, posting… I have been creating through all this time alone, but unfortunately, sure – much time has also been spent ‘seek(ing) my own desire’, as I understand the verse – That means back to back playing games (it’s been Command and Conquer Red Alert for the longest time, but now that I’ve seen that the EA App is less buggy I’ve brought myself back to playing Command and Conquer Generals), and watching a lot of YouTube.

Ah, YouTube. Straight-up satisfaction and instant gratification seeking that disguises itself in the form of ‘educating’ myself; And not even that. If you look at my recent history, I’ve been watching a lot of unsolved mysteries, reviews and takes on Magic: The Gathering cards – a lot of these time-wasters sandwiched in between the occasional workout video.

The setup here in what I used to call my ‘Command Center’ is not necessarily as conducive to creation and productivity as I’d want it to be – I have the computer set up beside a bookshelf full of literature I’m still only planning to read, and the shelf that gets the most attention is the one with the snacks – mixed nuts and the suspicious bar of dark chocolate that I’m calling ‘healthy’. On the other side of the computer I have the heavy bag hanging on a stand; I mean, it’s literally next to me. Whenever I work out, I need to move the sofa bed directly behind me to make space for the heavy bag, or whatever freeweight exercises come to mind. And by the way, that sofa bed is the default tossing space for jackets and my bags whenever I come in after the day transpires – that is, if I do decide to go out.

And now that I think about it, well, is it really about the placing of these things? I haven’t even gone through what have on the computer (the number of tabs I have open is appalling), but is it even about that? Is it even about the isolation?

If we seek our own desire, we do pass out judgment and act accordingly – however, it’s not to say that this judgment is sound in the first place. No, I’m led to believe that we as Christians need to remember that our own desires have been revamped, renewed, redefined, reworked by Christ, who is not only alive in us, but is alive with us.

We insist on having our own way when we know that Christ is with us no matter what; and with that said, I suppose it’s simply not true for us today to say that we can have our own way without Christ. If we insist on doing things our way without His consideration, He is with us before, during and after the eventual consequence, whether that be victory or defeat.

I’m typing all this right now and I’m thinking to myself, being conscious about if I’m making any sense here. But okay. As far as the verse goes, no matter what state I’m in, even in the confused and convoluted state I’m in right now, I will say this: Because of Christ’s finished work, I am never without Christ, and just as I am never without Christ, so my desires are never without Him as well. My own judgment is subject to drastic failure, but it is thanks to Christ and His finished work that I am able to say that I have sound judgment one way or the other, only because Christ Himself is the sound judgment within me.

There. You can forget everything else I’ve rambled about, all the nonsense before this, and get this:

Because of Christ’s finished work, our desires are His desires, just as His desires are our desires. He is the One who gives us sound judgment.

And in fact, I’d like to bring up a verse I’ve had popping up again and again in my mind these recent days – off of memory, it’s the verse by Paul that states that we do not have a spirit of fear, but a Spirit of power, love, and sound judgment. But let me go ahead and fire up Google to get me the actual verse and reference:

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

It’s the Holman Christian Standard Bible that tells us that we have a Spirit of a sound judgment. And I suppose I’m claiming all of this now, thanking the Lord for His goodness by way of the Spirit we have poured out upon each and every one of us in the body of Christ – That is, not a spirit of fear (or fearfulness, timidity, and/or cowardice in other translations), but a Spirit of power, a Spirit of love, and a Spirit of sound judgment.

In these moments when I am literally struggling and easily yielding to the waves of the world, to seek instant gratification and consequently lose all sense of focus, and in these moments that I insist on comfort in spite of so many things happening in and around me that need my attention, I just thank God, because, again, He has shown His faithfulness to me by way of Scripture, and by the power of His Holy Spirit moving in and through me – especially during these times.

It’s not looking too good for me, but hey, as I keep on telling my congregation, Christ is faithful, God is faithful even when we are faithless. I suppose I would like to append, that God is good, even when we aren’t good.

God is good all the time. And all the time, God is good.

Thank you, Mr. Don Moen. Now, I’d like to isolate myself, if only to thank God.

Sort of like how that one guy said it in that viral video, ‘You mind if I praise the Lord?’

Sorry. I know this doesn’t have much substance. But I needed this. Thanks for being with me by way of reading this far.

Until the next (better) post, God bless you.

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