What I have here are pieced-up word-wraps I’ve started on in the previous days, only to cancel. I’ve brought them together, and continued to flow.
Well here we go. Into the home stretch. Not only are we in the final month of this wonderful year, but we are also in the last… oh, 11 1000-word articles to go, to hit 365,000 words coming out of this here noggin. I’m not even sure if that came out anywhere near right, but it just felt good saying it.
You may think that 365,000 words isn’t that much, but it sure was a chore at times to fill in that number… Just as it was also a chore at times to work out. And I am totally sure that a good deal of said words are more filler than anything… Just as my form during my workouts wasn’t always pristine. But hey, beyond the assumptions, and putting workouts to the side for now, I must say I am very excited to finally read and therefore reap all the writing points I’ve taken down since the beginning of this year.
The excitement I feel is familiar, just like how I like to look at what I’ve been listening to for the entire year, compiled and analyzed by Spotify. And just like the songs that have made it to my Top 100, it’ll be good to go through all that’s been written about, and to collate and compile any points I’ve forgotten, to know what I can carry over to the next year.
I’ve been feeling like writing, the same way I’ve been feeling about working out – it just doesn’t feel as good a day without getting it done. Or rather, the day just feels better after I work out, and now, after writing.
But in the recent days, I’ve also given myself a little bit of an assessment, and it’s not good. I’ve been gaining weight, and I’ve been slacking off. Two days straight now. I’ve been working out, but I haven’t been controlling my food intake, nor have I had the motivation to take the first step towards anything which I perceive as productive and having value. Heck, even starting typing is feeling like a chore.
But here I am, forcing every fiber of my being to go ahead and project what is on my mind.
I recently shared in other social media platforms that this December was going to be a ‘winding down’ for me; I think I made a mistake in saying that, because that may have been a factor affecting how I’ve been behaving in the said past 2 days. The thoughts come in forms such as,
‘Go ahead and binge, and go ahead and eat, you’ve worked out and you’re continuing to work out anyway. It’s the holidays! Relax your diet!’, or
‘You’re so ahead in your 365,000 word project. You can afford to get on the phone/watch another episode. It’s the holidays! Relax!’
It’s funny that I say, ‘relax’. Funny because I was watching Zoolander again yesterday, and (spoiler alert, but not really) it was the song ‘Relax’ that didn’t get Derek to relax, but on the contrary, to trigger him to tense up and use his really really ridiculously good looking body as a weapon to kill the Malaysian Prime Minister.
Well maybe I say ‘relax’ to trigger my own mind to go into a sort of defense mode by way of condemnation; Because I know darn well that I shouldn’t be relaxing. All in all, December is not as much a ‘winding down’ as much as it is consolidation.
The JB of the past years, during this season, would probably have had some sort of out-of-touch mindset to push, saying that I should have started 2023 last November. I’m not so sure I subscribe to the same thought process today, because I’m just more thankful that I’ve had a lot to show for this year, from January to November, versus the previous years. And even that doesn’t mean I’ve actually gained or profited – after all, this is a year we’ve all been brought into a crypto winter; so I’ve probably lost more this year financially than in any other year… but I’ve been consistently choosing to see all of it as a lesson, and in that regard, again, I say I have a lot to show for 2022.
And it’s all because of writing. Or I should say, writing, and forcing myself to write, really helped me throughout this year. It’s far better to go ahead and dump all that’s on your mind, elsewhere, than to let it stay in your brain and weigh it down. I suppose, in terms of our being in the body of Christ, this writing is my way of casting my burdens, a subtle means to pray, a way for me to approach the throne of grace during my time of need.
Every time I make a deposit of at least a thousand words, I imagine it’s a load I cast upon my Savior, who tells me, again and again, that (1) His yoke is easy, and His burden is light, and (2) He will give me rest. Every time I write, I force my being into the cycle and exchange of letting Christ into even the smallest of thoughts and ideas I have, and indirectly receiving peace from no less than the Prince of Peace. This is exponentially beneficial, compared to previous years when I would go along my business and cry out to the Lord when the burdens become too heavy and/or too complicated to unload.
And actually, if you’ve been following this… repository for a while, you’ll have probably already seen that I haven’t actually been writing a thousand words each day. No, it’s more like writing as much as four thousand words in a day to either make up for lost days or to ‘earn’ more days to slack off. This behavior seems to reflect how I’m definitely pushing for consistent release, but still lazy by holding it in. I should probably push more for consistency.
So in light of that, I do want to wrap this up now, because I’m pretty sure I’ve hit a thousand.. but I do want to continue to post today, as I want to make time for the said end-of-year evaluation.
In the coming days for this final month of 2022, I want to get these done on a daily basis:
10 minutes of boxing.
100 burpees.
1000 words posted.
Pretty sure I’m going to add up to that but I’ll be happy with a day if these are done.
Until the next post, God bless you.
JB's Personal Brain Defragmenter 
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