Hi, folks. I was able to do my thousand words today, but sadly things got a little too personal, and I didn’t want to share any of it online, just yet. For the moment, please enjoy the following short notes. They’re from when I was commuting, so they do seem incomplete even in my efforts to make them more coherent. I pasted them from the local Notepad app on the iPhone, versus on Evernote.
I was just thinking, while walking to get a ride, about everyone who rejected me. I figured it was easier to endure any pain when I understood that they did what they did for a reason. That they walked away, they cut it all off because they thought they had to. They probably considered how much it would hurt me and they still thought in spite of this that they still had to go.
Maybe they had some good intentions, or maybe some sort of rationalization on their end. But I guess I take some comfort out of it. It’s far better than to constantly wonder about it. In some way it sets me free of speculation.
In a meeting facilitated by another church here in our fair city, the focus was on the concerted efforts of some ministries to reach out to other ‘people groups’ – tribes, and ethnicities. I respected one of the Pastors who facilitated, even considering that he was still a little old school in his methodologies. No matter, I thought – it is as Paul said. If Christ is preached, then good.
As he proceeded with presenting and integrating said methodologies, he had us stand up and pray in unison for topics and people he would mention. It was a pretty.. I’d say, liberating experience. As the meeting came to a close, in what I’m assuming is his way to get us intentionally committed to the cause of missions, he had us write on a piece of paper, or type in our cellphones, ‘I will -‘ and then we’d write whatever we’re led to finish that sentence with.
In my case, I will – Make wealth with tech, keep wealth with real estate. This was based on a tweet I read by Naval. I’d continue with my own endeavors to generate wealth. In the process of diversification, I would not forget the potential of rentals / AirBnB. I also typed the word, ‘Sanctuaries‘; Meaning, places where whoever stays would feel safe. I was thinking of temporary rest areas where travellers could stay, coming from the airport, before they go to their actual destinations.
I continued with the following statements:
“High Calibre Business. Money.
They want me to write, I will. Holy Spirit telling me, we’re giving. Regularly. May their tribe increase as I increase.“
I’m doing this on the go, waiting on someone who I’m supposed to be meeting. Right after this I head out to meet another set of people who called me at the last minute. Soon as I’m done with them I head home to attend a meeting – it’s online, so I guess I don’t need to be home but it’s nice to be where I’m comfortable. After that I have a whole set of deliverables to write about before the end of the month.
No wifi access so I’m doing this on the notepad, and eventually transfer to Evernote, then to WordPress. I’m finding out that in an questionable internet connection, Evernote has that habit of creating duplicate notes to cover all changes made on one document.
Recently I’ve been thinking about who I was twenty years ago. I’ve been thinking about what I was into at the time, and how I’ve been acting, how I’ve been operating as a person. I’ve been thinking about what I insisted was what I wanted back then, and asking myself if those were things that I still want today.
It’s the reverse of the job interview question. Instead of describing yourself 5 years from now, I’m intrigued, interested in reflecting on who I actually was 20 years ago… and all I could say off the bat is that I was pretty impulsive, short sighted, and I thought I knew it all.
Back then I was led more by my emotions, and if it felt right it was right. I was easier to fool, and most of all, I was constantly seeking validation from anyone and everyone. I didn’t know what I wanted, and to top it all off, I was a whole more scared back then to make any sort of moves, only being present after someone else takes the first step.
These are the more general insights that came into my head while I was thinking of JB, 20 years younger. He was certainly fatter. His clothes were baggier – his fashion sense was basically what his brothers gave him.
Consult Christ and His finished work for guidance in your actions, and fluidity in your reactions. Instead of speculation on what Jesus would do, flow from what Jesus has done.
I’ve always had a hard time asking God for anything. I’m thinking it’s roots are in when I would have a hard time asking Dad for anything.
I’m led to remember what I used to say – that I never thought I’d know how to love God, because I based it off of my relationship with my Dad. But now that I know how God loves me, that’s when I realized how my Dad didn’t love me according to how I expected, but he did love me with his best.
For a while that meant a lot to me, but now I’m thinking I need to go deeper. I don’t feel it’s enough to know God loves me. There are features to it, like I shared at our afternoon service.
I do remember sharing that God tunes into us. He reads between the lines. And now that I think about it, I can’t really say that He’s responded to how I think. But that’s the thing – am I making the wrong assumption about God? Or am I waiting on Him to move according to how I think? In this faster-paced life, I’m being forced to think these things, and it’s getting less and less feasible to be still.
Yet I shall wait upon the Lord. I shall be still and know that He is God. In the absence of anything else being intentionally placed before me to realize, I will be still, and know that He is God.
This God, He knows me down to the dirtiest details, and He loves me. And because of that I know He knows more than I know about myself, and this gives me more reason to be still.
That’s the last of them. If you’re still reading, thank you. God bless you.
Leave a Reply