It simplifies things, to an extent. This tells me that I no longer need to fret over things that I don’t have. I no longer feel the need to worry about things that I have no control over. I used to see hoping as futile, seeing as circumstance, being the ‘bitch’ – yes, I called it a bitch – that it was, would show its face sooner or later, clouding all of our plans.
Today, however, it is a significant struggle for me to go ahead and react to what lies ahead for me. There are a few things that I would consider are quite definite: The definite change of my schedule, yanking me out of being idle and throwing me straight into the dogpit. Then there’s the news that I would be alone to support our frontliners tomorrow, seeing as everyone else took leaves for the weekend. There are also those questions that are coming up in my mind that introduce an all familiar, all painful atmosphere of uncertainty: What am I going to do this Valentines’ weekend? Will I go back up to Baguio or should I stay in Manila? Would my leaves for March and May be approved? Would the deals that I initiated come out the way I think it would benefit?
I have a history of overreacting over the smallest things, and today may be one of those days that I overreact.. However, as I blog, and as I communicate with you, dear reader, I also am reminding myself of the fact that I would do much by seeking God’s kingdom. I’m thinking, thinking, thinking, and praying, praying, praying, more now than the last time I’ve blogged that statement.
Right now there isn’t much to be happy about in the worldly sense, or in what’s immediately in front of me. But what’s there, what I’m reminded of, would seem to be enough – it is the assurance that God, in His absolute omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence, would never leave me, nor would he forsake me. He listens to prayers, and as always, He will make all this that happens work for my good, because I love Him.
Hey, it’s better than complaining, now isn’t it? I find it amazing that I blog this, a day after I blog in joy. I could view it as a test, but I can also say that great things have happened, great things are happening, and greater things are to come.
Again, with great responsibility comes great power.
God bless you.