So much happening. So much in the head. So much.
Need to focus… but at the same time, I need to let go. I need to release… but at the same time, I need to get it all together. That’s how it’s feeling right now. With all that’s required of me, with all that I impose upon myself, I find myself disappointed, frustrated; Rendered immobile, but needing to move. Facing a wall, but needing to just punch through.
Oh, bless me now, my Savior; I come to thee.
Thank You, Lord, for the reading of Your Word.
Psalm 81
An Appeal for Israel’s Repentance
To the Chief Musician. On an instrument of Gath. A Psalm of Asaph.
Repentance would be nice. A complete renewing of the mind. A complete reprogramming, a complete reformat of life, getting rid of all that was idle and serves no more purpose, and going back to the essentials.
1 Sing aloud to God our strength; Make a joyful shout to the God of Jacob.
2 Raise a song and strike the timbrel, The pleasant harp with the lute.
3 Blow the trumpet at the time of the New Moon, At the full moon, on our solemn feast day.
4 For this is a statute for Israel, A law of the God of Jacob.
5 This He established in Joseph as a testimony, When He went throughout the land of Egypt, Where I heard a language I did not understand.
6 “I removed his shoulder from the burden; His hands were freed from the baskets.
7 You called in trouble, and I delivered you; I answered you in the secret place of thunder; I tested you at the waters of Meribah.
Selah
With the context of repentance in mind, the composition begins with a call for musical worship. Here’s a reminder for me to just immerse in content that brings me to call upon the Lord and to look upon Him.
***Opened Spotify, started playing worship in the background***
The God of the mountains is the God of the valley; There’s not a place His mercy and grace won’t find me again.
Indeed, there is nothing better than our God, He turns graves into gardens. He turns mourning to dancing.
That’s right, as we continue to sing out aloud and shout joyfully to our God, we couldn’t help but reflect on His goodness to us, in our past, our present and our future. Sure as Asaph suddenly shifted from calling for worship to remembering the specific good works of the Lord, specifically upon Joseph… So we also automatically remember how we were rescued from our own mistakes, our own mess-ups; So we also remember how the Lord catches us by surprise and unloads all sorts of goodness upon us – and, take note, this is regardless of our performance.
Thank You, Father, for Your grace! Thank You, because I receive all that is good from You, all that has no sorrow attached to it – not at all because I earned it, but all because of Christ, and His finished work! Christ, our King of Kings, is the living Grace that unleashed grace upon grace in our lives! Thank You, Lord!
…and, there you go. You bring yourself to worship, and repentance follows.
8 “Hear, O My people, and I will admonish you! O Israel, if you will listen to Me!
9 There shall be no foreign god among you; Nor shall you worship any foreign god.
10 I am the LORD your God, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt; Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.
11 “But My people would not heed My voice, And Israel would have none of Me.
12 So I gave them over to their own stubborn heart, To walk in their own counsels.
13 “Oh, that My people would listen to Me, That Israel would walk in My ways!
14 I would soon subdue their enemies, And turn My hand against their adversaries.
15 The haters of the LORD would pretend submission to Him, But their fate would endure forever.
16 He would have fed them also with the finest of wheat; And with honey from the rock I would have satisfied you.”
In worship, we remember Christ’s finished work… and as we remember Christ’s finished work, our minds and our bodies, our entire beings are graciously realigned to right thinking and right believing.
As we continue to sing, thanking God for Christ’s blood shed for our forgiveness and freedom, our eyes are directed and set upon Him as Creator and Maker, premiere Authority above all;
He is peerless in glory, matchless in power, and infinitely superior in wisdom; And as we reflect upon God’s greatness, it only follows that we remember His goodness.
In His goodness, He watches over us, and subdues our enemies before us.
In His grace, He feeds us before them, and ensures that we are satisfied.
We give Him glory in distress, sure as we give Him thanks in our relief and rescue.
Oh, thank our God! Thank Him for His Son, and the blood which He has shed! He has saved our lives, He has brought us from the darkness into His glorious light!
Spotify is off. It’s roughly 30 minutes since that last paragraph.
I just want to take time in the silence to give thanks to the Lord.
Yes, I am fully aware of all that’s bringing me down right now. I’m feeling pressure and I’m feeling like I’m dragging at the same time. But all the same, my trust is in the Lord. In this state, I choose to thank God for every breath that I’m taking right now, every beat my heart is taking.
I thank God for existence, and even if it’s not necessarily being realized right now, I thank God for meaning and value that turns this existence into Life. I thank God for Christ, through whom all this nothing is worth something, far superior to our former state, where everything meant nothing at all.
I thank God for Jesus Christ, and for the meaning He brings, even when all things seem so meaningless. I thank God for all He has done for us – dying that I would live, saving us from timeless oblivion and bringing us into Life, Light and Love, as only He could.
I thank God for the salvation, redemption, and reconciliation I have through Christ’s finished work. I thank God for the impact brought about by Christ’s birth, death, resurrection and ascension – impact upon my entire being, slamming into my whole reality, so all things are shaken… absolutely for the better.
I thank God for the hope I have in Christ, even when I see all things as hopeless.
I thank God for His faithfulness, causing all things to work for the good, and for MY good – I thank God for this is the Truth that stands, even in these moments when I feel I have absolutely nothing to show for myself.
I don’t know. Call this crocodile tears or self-pity, call this false humility, but I would rather just focus on His greatness. I am thankful because in spite of all that’s happened the night before down to this morning and up until this very moment, regardless of what I am feeling, God truly IS who He says He is, and He is faithful and true; It’s as if He reminds me during these times, that He is with me, and all that He has is mine.
Christ is the Good Shepherd who left the flock of ninety-nine to find me.
God is my Father who left the party of the prodigal and chased after me, heard me out, and rebuked me by way of reminding me of who He is to me.
I thank God, therefore, because in these moments, He is for me, and He will never be against me.
I thank God, because through Christ, nothing can ever separate me from His love; and, on the other hand, all powers and principalities, all death and life, all things now remind me of His love.
Oh, thank You, Father, because even now I am reminded of Your love. Thank You, for regardless of what state we find ourselves in, You prove Yourself as faithful. You are proven and trustworthy.
Thank You, Lord. I don’t know what’s going on, but my trust is in You.
I don’t know what to do, but my trust is in You.
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