More stuff from the notebook. Work this week was pretty intense. Non-stop calls pushed away the usual idle tasks… But amazingly enough I had time to whip out the notebook and pen to scribble out the stress in my head. There was writing, and I’m glad I had my punching bag behind me to get even more stress out.
October 7, 2025
My God is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He is the God of Israel – the only true God, the only ONE God; Creator of all things seen and unseen, Maker of time and space, Maker of all our senses perceive, and beyond.
My God is my Father. He is my very present Help in time of need. I run to his throne of grace in my time of need. His name is a strong Tower. I run to Him, and I am safe. I run to Him, and I am secure.
He loves me with an everlasting love. His mercies are new, fresh and abundant every morning. He is for me, and not against me. He is with me. Nothing can ever separate me from His love. Everything brings me to behold His steadfast love.
I trust in Him, and I depend on Him. He has been faithful through all generations; Faithful to my father, and to his father, and the father before him, to ALL generations before, beyond my mind and memory… Faithful to me, and my children, and my children’s children… Love that is everlasting, indeed!
I AM loved. I AM cleansed. I AM forgiven. I AM reconciled. God IS my Father, through Christ’s finished work and guaranteed by the power of the Holy Spirit.
You can cut that intro, because this is what I’m telling myself, what I’m declaring in this season… This season of painful ends and uncertain beginnings.
I AM loved. Through it all, I AM cleansed. Forgiven. Fully and completely cleansed and forgiven by the blood of the Lamb.
I take this Truth in, and I keep it in mind, especially when threatened, when tried. I take it in, in grief, in loss, in frustration.
He remains Salvation in setbacks, and in shame.
He is firm Truth in trouble and turbulence.
He is overwhelming Peace in pain.
Faithful in frustration, and in fear.
Alpha amidst alliteration.
Immerse me in Your Spirit, Father.
Speak to me. Minister to me. Comfort me. Encourage me. Show me what I haven’t seen, teach me what I do not know. Reveal more, more of all You see, that more of my being would be transformed.
Protect us, Lord. Preserve us. Cover us. Shield us. Please, Lord. You are our Refuge. You are our Safety.
You are my Home.
October 09, 2025
I thank God for my brother Kip. Well, I love both my brothers, in that they don’t hesitate to tell me what I need to know, no filter, all love. Just so happens that in the recent days, it was Kip who’s been dropping bombs.
Really simple, but heavy. One, a straight up request, and the other, a straight up question.
When telling him how I, to this day, have not driven in the chaotic streets of Manila, he simply tells me, ‘Grow some balls.‘
When telling him we need to pray for my Mom’s healing, and I’m all fearful and stuff… He simply asks, ‘What did you declare?‘ / ‘You’re a pastor, aren’t you? What did you declare?‘
I got news for you, bro. I AM growing these cojones. In fact, damn it, they itch.
ANYWAY. Yeah, growing some balls by way of taking in all these unexpected, freaking twists and turns at work, facing all of it head on.
And all this time you could be that I am declaring a storm. I HAVE the mind of Christ. I AM a new creation. Christ IS in me, the Hope of Glory. God is my Father and in spite of all the pain and shame and trouble, I take heart – because He is for me, and not against me. Nothing can separate me from His love. He is faithful to cause all things to work for the good of those who love Him.
I am alive and I am free in His love – choosing to behold His goodness and glory BEYOND all that is before me, all that surrounds me now. He is always thinking about me. Even now, in all I’m troubled or otherwise stressed about, He lovingly thinks of me, caring for me.
I give thanks to Him, for all this is purchased by Christ, guaranteed by the Holy Spirit. Halleluyah!
I abide in Christ – He is the Vine, and I am a branch. He produces love, peace, patience, joy, faithfulness, kindness, goodness and self-control. I merely bear the fruit as I encounter experience after experience, as I face circumstance after circumstance.
In rejection, I recall, declare: God fully accepts me. In fear for the future, I declare: His perfect love brings me to rest, and I shall not fear… nor shall I be at want.
I trust in Him for all my needs. I trust Him, and I am not put to shame.
Encoding all this and with all I’ve had in mind ever since that last transcription of all we’ve talked about with my brothers and sisters literally across the world, well, I am reminded, and I am encouraged to just continue to declare.
I am not denying that life and my circumstances can certainly be a whole lot better right now. I am not denying the pain of rejection that I feel, and the uncertainty that follows it. I am not denying the finality of certain things I’ve held on to for the longest time, nor am I denying this empty void that this hope according to my terms filled in. I am not denying the loss of this hope.
I’m not denying that this world is certainly, absolutely fucked. But with that in mind, again, I am actually even more encouraged to declare.
Christ is our obedience.
Christ is our faith.
Christ is our righteousness.
Christ is our eternal life.
Christ is all. God is our All in All.
Indeed, the Lord is my Shepherd… I shall not be in want.
Sure, He deserves all glory and praise. Sure, He deserves all the worship, all the adoration… but as that one Hillsong composition goes:
I throw my weakness
into your greatness
This broken heart is all You want.
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