Checkpoint.
What’s been going on?
People from way back when trying to contact me. I’ve not enjoyed their business with my father, I’ve not enjoyed their business with my family when my father left, and I’m not enjoying how they want me to contact them now.
Maybe part of why I don’t enjoy interacting with these folk is because it reminds me of family matters that I’d rather not face. They were my father’s business, and I wanted it left that way – buried. But yes, I am aware; Rather, there’s that part of me that’s telling me that I should take responsibility. But for the life of me, I don’t want to face it. I just want it fixed and/or out of my hands. Every time I think of it I get all stressed. Even writing about it, and even if I’m not even going into detail (and the thing is, I’ve pushed it so far back in my head that I don’t even know much of the details to begin with) – it’s stressing me out.
Or, as the cool kids would say, it’s causing me mental anguish.
Whatever. They don’t have white hair. I’m starting to see some strands. But besides this, well, I’m feeling pretty frustrated. Through what I’ve already mentioned there are clearly outside forces that are messing with my mind – and as I dare to go deeper into this rabbit hole of self-deprecation I’m also looking to express that there are thoughts from within that are causing me to slow down. Factors outside stress testing me, and mistakes I know I’ve made keeping me on my toes – and in a bad way. Without going into too much detail I’ll just say that I got cocky with one of my business ventures. I saw that I got some significant gain, and at that moment I thought it wouldn’t hurt to get into an investment of higher risk. It’s been more than a week since, and I’m still in the red. Things may be looking up, but I hate how I’ve been on edge a little bit more because of this trade, and I’m just waiting for it to resolve, really.
Then there’s the thought that I think I’m spending a little more time than I should writing all this. I said I enjoy writing all this in the name of clarification, but it seems as if it’s taking so much time in my day, too much time that everything in the back burner – that is, other tasks for me to learn and get certified so I’m more ‘sellable’ – well, they’re still in the back burner.
It’s also not helping that I’m doing all this while under the same roof as my Mom – God bless her, I love her, but yeah, I need to be constantly ready to drop everything if only to drive her wherever she needs to go.
I’ve having trouble handling my time, handling my resources, handling situations, and handling people.
Yeah, I say all of this, aware of the fact that I just wrote about how our God is so mindful of us. He knows me. He knows all there is to know about me. He knows where I am right now, He sees me from His perspective, yet He also understands how I see myself in all this. He knows more about what’s happening to me than what I’m willing to let out here in this article. He knows how I’m having trouble handling myself, and handling others – and I know He knows the real deal. It could be far worse than I see or share, or it could be that I’m blowing things out of proportion.
But He knows. There’s that one Nike shirt back in the day that Pacquiao Knows, but it’s God who really knows, and God who knows, really.
And I suppose I’m sharing all of this, not only as a lead in to what I intend to write today, but also to remind myself, that God knows so much more about the circumstances I am aware of, and He also knows so much more about the circumstances I haven’t mentioned, forgotten, set aside, and/or am completely unaware of… and He cares for us still. He loves us still.
He loves us that He is willing and able to let us know it. By the power of the Holy Spirit I am reminded of God’s awareness of all my stressors, real and made-up, and in spite of all this, He would keep taking all of our anxieties and burdens. Today I cast them all unto Him, because I know He cares for me.
And He knows I’m going to keep on casting them, for as long as they bother me.
That’s how good our God is. Willing and able to hear us, and, as we’ll soon discuss… He is also present. With us.
Psalm 139 continues in verse 7:
Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
I just exclaimed to my congregation that because they have been made new creations, as confirmed by Christ’s resurrection, they have also been filled by the Holy Spirit – not primarily because of any action of ours, but because Christ ascended into heaven. I didn’t say this to them but I believe that as we rose up as Christ rose up, so we ascended as Christ ascended – Meaning, that if Christ brought our presence to the Father, so the Holy Spirit descended upon us and filled us up – Christ’s presence descending upon each and every one of us, beyond the incapability of His physical body to demonstrate His omnipresence.
With that said, because we believe in Christ, we believe in His ascension, and because we believe in His ascension, we believe we have the Holy Spirit. And, to add to this, based on Psalm 139:7 – We believe we have the Holy Spirit, and therefore we believe we are always in His presence, as He is always present with us. Indeed, Christ has guaranteed for us today that there is nowhere we can go apart from His Spirit, nor is there anywhere we can be even a percentage ‘away’ from His presence.
When we find ourselves in the physical heights, we can be assured that our God is with us there. Whether we climb to the summit of Mount Everest, or if we’ve reached cruising altitudes of approximately 8 miles above sea level… Or, for some harebrained reason we find ourselves in the International Space Station, or even on the way to Mars by way of Mr. Musk’s SpaceX Rocket, I have reason to believe that our God who has made it all – even that which we claim is beyond human habitation – He is with us as far as we can go in the physical heavens. Or we can find ourselves in the figurative(?) heights, where everything is working for us, at least according to our finite expectations. Even during these times, we can know that God is with us.
It’s the same thing if we find ourselves in the bottom of the ocean, or the deepest valleys there are. Or, if we somehow find ourselves burrowed deeper into the earth, with greater chances for us to prove what was behind what was claimed were screams of thousands of human beings heard the deeper a hole was dug towards the center of the earth – No matter what we find there, I believe our God is still with us. We can also find ourselves in the deepest depths, ‘hell on earth’ as we’d say, where all the worst things we think that could possibly happen, happen – but even during these times, we can take heart. Why? Because through Christ, we have God with us in all of it.
Whether we have nothing or everything, on the top or at the bottom, when everything or nothing is happening, take heart! For God is with us – His Spirit is with us, and we are therefore never without His presence.
The Psalm continues:
If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.
Wherever we are, and even when we embark on what is a futile attempt for us to fly away from His presence, or to sail away to the most remote areas of the world, to the furthest points away from civilization, if only to say that we are totally alone – The truth of the matter is, because of Christ and all that He has done for us, the good news and bad news is, we are NEVER alone. Christ has guaranteed that we have the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit with us, close to us as God could possibly be – any time, any place, no matter what we’re doing, no matter who we are or aren’t with.
And furthermore, this tells me that God isn’t merely WITH us in all things; No, God goes a step further. As if discontent to only present His presence, and to assure us that we are always with Him, He also ensures that through His hand we are led accordingly… through His right hand, we are not only led, but we are also held. Held close. Held in safety. Held, as in embraced.
Actually, why don’t we take a quick look at our handy dandy eSword?
The Hebrew for the word ‘lead’ in the verse is nâchâh (naw-khaw’), and explained as follows: A primitive root; to guide; by implication to transport (into exile, or as colonists): – bestow, bring, govern, guide, lead (forth), put, straiten. God’s hand in any situation or location ensures that we are not only led but brought, and in our being led, we are apparently governed. Least that’s how I understand it. But take it in – He does not only ensure we are ‘led’ as we understand this word.
The Hebrew for the word ‘hold’ in the verse is ‘âchaz (aw-khaz’), and explained as follows: A primitive root; to seize (often with the accessory idea of holding in possession): – + be affrighted, bar, (catch, lay, take) hold (back), come upon, fasten, handle, portion, (get, have or take) possess (-ion). Way I see this is that we’re not only held but gripped – that is, we are held securely as a tool; we are possessed – in my understanding we’re reminded in these times that we are His, held close to Him, fastened and handled by Him.
And finally, before I wrap this up:
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.
And as I read all this I am reminded of where it’s said in the Scripture, regarding God’s wisdom, and His wisdom expressed in and through Christ:
For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.
For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
1 Corinthians 1:22-25
Here’s another shoutout to God’s absolute superiority to us; another way for us to understand how the Creator is always superior to all creation – that even His foolishness (if it would even be called foolishness) is wiser than anything we could ever conjure, just as His weakness (if we could even call it weakness) is stronger than anything we can ever construct.
In a similar manner, what we may surmise as darkness is still light to Him – Our God actually proves Himself more as Everlasting Light (Psalm 60:20) in what we call the darkness. It just adds sweetness to the already pleasant Truth – that through Christ and all He has done for us, not only do we enjoy God’s faithful presence with us, as we enjoy our presence with Him – we also experience His willingness to lead and guide us along the way, and His ability to assure us that, even when we think all is lost to the darkness – He is the Light who holds us, and keeps us together.
Indeed, our God, who is a Mindful God – He is also our Present God. With us, no matter what.
And surely, He is with me, and in all these negative things that persist in my mind – for now.
Until our next post, God bless you.
JB's Personal Brain Defragmenter 
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