Restless – March 9, 2022 (68/365)

Encountering a lot of resistance today in typing… I don’t know, I call it resistance but you can probably say I’ve been slacking today, but really, I haven’t. In fact, I worked out twice today, and I was able to hit 10 thousand steps. I’m not sure what to call this – what do you call doing what you want to do versus doing what you have to do? Or what do you call doing what your body and mind are leading you to do versus doing what you think you absolutely have to do?

I think the problem there is where I say things absolutely have to be done, implying that I need to do them because everything within my perspective says that it is urgent and must take top priority. But on the other hand, the way that I say that ‘I think’ that’s ‘the problem’ also implies that I wanted to reason out why I held off on doing these things today.

Maybe it’s all really set for tomorrow. The thing is, I only realized now that I begged off not one, but two calls to drive out of the house; sure, gas prices were a really huge reason as to why I insisted on staying home, but if I was honest, I didn’t really want to see those people who called. Call me an introvert or whatever, I preferred to just stay home and spend time at home.

It’s sad, because I had all the time in the world to go through the Bible as the JB who wrote yesterday’s article would have really wanted… instead, I spent time exercising more than I expected, and I spent too much time looking at what I’ve been working on since the middle of February, as if the time I spent looking at each tab would speed up or increase any profits I’m expecting from these ventures. I was telling myself, while I was catching myself looking at said tabs for the nth time, that I probably should set up another browser profile to contain all these tabs, just so I can open them at my convenience, preferable once every other day.

After I post this I’m probably also going to be taking out Blockudoku from my phone again. That thing is such a time thief. Not that I don’t want to game anymore… I really should put a little time aside for play, versus mindless surfing masquerading as ‘productivity’.

Yeah, I hated it, but I think I gave myself a pass today. It’s just right that I worked out a little more today because (1) I was supposed to be resting tomorrow, and (2) Mom and I are leaving the house earlier. I should be plotting my time carefully tomorrow, just so I use my gas wisely, and I make the most of the time I have outside. I’m glad I could park the car somewhere secure, and chances are I’ll probably be wearing more active apparel just so I could walk around easier. Pretty sure I’ll be hitting another ten thousand steps tomorrow.

So just to map it out in my mind, we go straight to where Mom needs to go, and I’m not sure if I should be joining her (it’s a family event, but these are far relatives – I’m genuinely thankful that Mom is willing to join these functions, if only to represent and put our family out there), or if I should go along my way. Anyway, as mentioned, if I choose to leave earlier I will be parking at church, and I will be commuting/walking from one area to another. All that travelling will also have to be plotted out wisely – In my planning I’ll need to list down everything I do want to do, and which tasks can be done within a certain location.

On that note, I know I said that I was able to workout today, and that I can give myself some rest from exercise tomorrow… but the thing is, I don’t think I can go a day without working out in some way or form. That stuff just clears our minds, and clarifies our thoughts.


And speaking of thoughts, here’s a thought, I guess. I don’t know if constantly thinking about a certain idea to act on, or, okay, constantly going back to see if there are any updates on the ventures I started off – I don’t know if any of that counts as meditation, or study on the subject. Nor can I completely call it worrying… I understand that there are certain things that you wouldn’t know until you act on them, but maybe I’m holding off on making any further steps in case an ‘aha’ moment – a thought or perspective that previously eluded me – would pop up.

Maybe it’s okay for me to just step in, understanding all the consequences, and, more importantly, being fully aware that there will be thoughts you wish you would have had before you made the first step. Regarding the latter, I should embrace that possibility and understand that it’s okay. The thing about our flawed being is our brains won’t always cover all the bases all the time, and to be real, it’s not always ideal to actually cover all the bases, especially if time is of the essence.

That’ll be on my mind tomorrow as I do think about what to do, and as I list down and arrange the stuff that has to be done.

With that said, I’m pretty excited about tomorrow. Certainly rested up today, more or less, and I was able to get my own ‘maintenance’ out of the way.

If you’ve reached this point, I’m not exactly sure why or how you were able to tolerate my random ramblings. But thank you. I pray you’re having a good week so far, and I pray we all finish this week strong. Between the disappearing pandemic and these tensions between countries that are so many miles away from us, it’s such a blessing that we still stay connected and that we’re able to read off of each other’s notes.

God keep us all healthy, God keep us focused, God bless us all.

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