Self-Troubleshooting, Part 1

It never fails. Just when you think you’ve handled all you think you can, just when you thought you’ve faced the highest hurdle yet, something comes along to just humble you, like God’s saying ‘You ain’t seen nothing yet.’

After going through 4 schools and 4 different kinds of collective attitudes, as well as countless people young and old from every sort of denomination and with all sorts of experiences (Thanks to my run as a call center person here in Baguio and also in Manila), I confess that I have been proud to say that I can pretty much deal with anyone.

Oh, how I was humbled. How exactly were you to deal with people who push all your boundaries when it comes to conventional and common knowledge and communication? On any normal day I would shrug these sorts of people off and dismiss them as ‘hard to work with’, but what happens if someone like this just happens to be your boss, or someone you would need to deal with on a daily basis?

That’s where my mom’s advice came in. Love the unlovable. I went ahead and added, practice unconditional love.

I thought I had what it took when Paola came into my life. Apparently that’s just one side to it – unconditionally loving someone easy to love has its own challenges, but it’s a whole new ball game – and a hell of a lot of patience – to love someone easy to hate.

I suppose that’s one way of looking at it – as a challenge. Hence the title of my previous blog. I’m not really sure if I’m being redundant here, but be advised that I am trying to achieve two things here – to continue this series by posting my progress on learning how to love the unlovable and how to love unconditionally, and to simply make it a point to start blogging every day. Call it a One-Month-Before-The-New-Year resolution.

I had a pretty healthy conversation with my mom last night on the subject of loving the unlovable. My mom said very valid points like ‘Jesus died for these people as much as He died for you’ and ‘God loves these people too’. Take note that I was pretty much aware of these bits of truth ever since a long time ago – In the past, it’s helped me treat certain people I’ve disliked, no, loathed, with love.

I guess the only difference between now and then was that I actually wanted to make an effort to get to know these people better. Now that I think of it, those lessons, those phrases my mom mentioned wouldn’t really amount to anything if all I did was to memorize them. And even if I did have them in mind, it would take much effort to put the words into action – if I didn’t have the heart to accompany what my mind thinks.

And right now I’m just reminding myself that I was once unlovable – heck, now that I think of it, I’m pretty sure I could still be downright obnoxious. When mom mentioned that I should pray for anyone unlovable in my life, I guess I should also include myself in the mix – that the Lord would search my heart, and take out what is wrong (Ps. 139:23-24).

This must be the first step – we have to remember that we also have our own reasons to be unlovable. We have own own flaws, our own attitude issues.

In that discussion I had with my mom, she mentioned that I was ‘too serious’ and I needed to ‘let it go’. Maybe that’s one place to start.

Lord, be praised in all this.

God bless you.

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