In my current situation, and considering what I am expected to be doing, I am having trouble with this. I know I have a problem – I have an issue with acting appropriately before people who I deem as unlovable. I know I talked about loving the unlovable in the past, but it seemed as if since then there have been people showing up who were more and more unlovable than the previous person.
It’s either that, or I’m running out of love. Impossible. I have been blessed with a great girlfriend, and every day I am subject to some practice when it comes to unconditional love.
When I was in college I went through all sorts of ways just to get a passing grade. When my thesis finally came, and I know I definitely wrote about that some time in my more worldly past where I found it easier to cuss more, I found out that all my efforts to go through every subject didn’t matter until I handled my Thesis right and passed that too.
That’s a bit like how this feels – the practice doesn’t seem to have any bearing until I pass the actual test of unconditional love – loving the unlovable.
Mom suggested humility. I proudly rejected that at first, but as I type this, I realize that would definitely be a help to me. She added that I couldn’t do it on my own – I needed to let go, and let God – the same God who can let me do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I’m not passing this to anyone else. I need to take on this myself, with the Lord as my coach and strength. May He be glorified in all this.
God bless you.