I asked that question to a small number of people dear to my heart last night, and I came up with all sorts of honest answers, leaving me enlightened in many ways. I mean, it gave me a small preview of what these people held close to their own hearts; Someone answered by saying it all depends on how you want to live. Someone else said that you wouldn’t know the outcome if you didn’t take the risk. Still someone said that prayer has to be involved. Finally, another good friend, who more or less had the same decisions to make, said that it all has to be raised to God.
All this discussion led to a fascinating conclusion I just had to tell yet another precious friend: “It all boils down to our knowledge of the Word. The more we know, the more we practice, the less we think of risks, the more we think of glorifying God.” See, just as we tell ourselves to watch our words to keep from making mistakes, we would have to draw strength from words that matter. We can go around in circles with all the deceptive lines of self-glorification/damnation coming from all around us in this world, but we will never go wrong in taking in God’s promises to those who believe, from Genesis to the Revelation of John, from a book that’s been with us for close to 2000 years: The Bible.
Right now, it doesn’t seem quite feasible for me to have the actual verses and words in memory to serve as adrenaline helpers during times of pressuse. However, I could definitely say that what time we devote to the Word would definitely reinforce the faith that we have. I’ve learned that it isn’t about memorizing a book – then we’d reduce the Bible to any other list of incantations. It’s more of exercise – as you read and as you reflect, your whole outlook is apparently refined, and all your reactions and reflexes slowly change, ultimately strengthening your faith.
Faith would probably be the best driving force to have during those tense moments that uncertainty mix with urgency.
I learned that all this contemplation, all this discussion eventually led to somewhere. As I started my shift around 13 hours ago, I was asked to make a decision.
It looks like I’m going to be staying here in Manila for quite a while… My mind is numb from all the thinking, but somehow at the same time I could imagine the split second/eternity between the time I said “Yes” to the time I look back at all this and smile.
To God be all glory and praise. May He bless us all.