Came from the wedding of a good friend, but not after having some prime thoughts to take away, and to dwell and meditate on.
While congratulating the father of the bride, he kept asserting a wonderful point of view – ‘I did not lose a daughter, I gained a son.‘
Nice way of seeing it, considering also how, in a picture, I was able to take (from left to right) the officiating pastor, the groom seated with the bride, the photographer behind them, and the aforementioned father of the bride. It’s like I saw (from left to right) the Holy Spirit convicting the world of sin, righteousness, and judgment, Jesus as the Bridegroom, the Church as the Bride, the World as a Witness, and God as a Father, giving the Bride to the Bridegroom.
In contrast, we celebrate Palm Sunday tomorrow – a scene where God, again as a Father, is giving His Son to Jerusalem – giving the Bridegroom to the Bride.
Does that make any sense?
Groom and Bride took turns honoring their parents, and those of us who were present were just – well, at least I was just in awe of the sheer gratitude they had. The Groom took his time to thank both his Dad and Mom – thanking them for their patience, for teaching him about life and love. The Bride, whose Mom went ahead to be with Jesus completely, took time to tell us of her strong personality and love (and also, her wish for ‘lavender’ to be part of the theme of their wedding) before turning to her Dad, thanking him while we listened – for his assertation of strength by way of maintaining a light and comfortable attitude in spite of all the hard work he was putting in, to ensure that his family eats three times a day.
The wedding was already finished, and I made my way home. Something about what they shared impacted me, because as early as while they were talking I was already thinking about my own household, and how I could actually pitch in more to ensure the order of this space. Later on, I waited on my own Mom because she had plans to visit her sister, my aunt, to greet her a belated happy birthday. She was expecting me to drive her to where she could get a ride, and, considering all that I was listening to, well, it was pretty natural for me to go ahead and offer to drive her all the way to where she needed to go… and I made sure, that as she stepped out, to tell her that I loved her.
She didn’t know, but part of me was seriously thinking, while I was in that part of town, I could visit my Dad’s grave… but I ultimately decided against it, considering I had another obligation to fulfill right after dropping her off. But while I was driving to said location, that one meme came to mind – You know, the one of a male stick figure wearing a cowboy hat entering a door, talking to his (stick figure) son in the room, on the computer? The dialogue on the meme template starts with the father stick figure asking, ‘Are ya winning, son?‘
Thought of my Dad asking me that question, and now that I’m putting all of these thoughts together, I’m thinking my response would be – I’m winning within my means.
I lost all that I inherited from him. I lost all that I inherited from my aunt, his sister. But with what paltry amount I’m left making here and now, I’m winning, Dad. Not necessarily making more to win more, but I’m winning with what I have now.
It’s in line with something our former senior pastor shared recently in one of our group chats, where he quotes 2 Corinthians 9:8: And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.
Not to justify the many mistakes of my past, but to magnify God’s grace in the present, I could say that this verse is true – because, indeed, we ARE… I AM abounding in every good work, having ALL SUFFICIENCY in all things – all I have, and all I don’t have.
Throughout a majority of the year spent with me transitioning to being 40 years old was spent in condemnation – silently beating myself up for losing all that I had in my 30s, from money in the bank account, to opportunities in relationships… But, now, as I turn 41 in a little less than 2 weeks from now, I’m thinking, the same Father who saw me through my crashing and burning – He saw me through everything, and now faithfully sees me through having barely anything.
Is it a wonder that David Benoit’s Freedom By Midnight is playing on Spotify on my phone right now? Although earlier, what was playing was the villain theme from the movie Swordfish – Dark Machine by Paul Oakenfold, a techno-trance track with lines from the movie, quoting John Travolta’s character: ‘He exists in a world beyond your world. What we only fantasize, he does. He lives a life where nothing is beyond him. …For all his charm and charisma, his wealth, his expensive toys… he’s a driven, unflinching, calculating machine.’
Allowing my mind to stretch its imagination right now in rationalizing – I think this is the life we have in Christ. Not just for me, but for all of us. We have freedom, complete with the vibes of relief associated to being free – at midnight, or at any time.
On top of this, we’re living in this reality, but Scripture also tells us that we are not of this world. We have peace beyond human understanding; We have thoughts beyond human imagination and fantasy, leading us to decisive action. Nothing is beyond us, as well – considering we are on a path to destiny in this finite existence, fully aware that our eternal destiny has already been fulfilled by Christ.
We’re able to move, driven, unshaken, strategic – no matter what we have or don’t have – because we have Christ, and Christ has us. We’re able to win, no matter what, because of our Father, who not only checks in on us, but is always thinking of us.
I don’t know where I’m going with all of this, and I don’t know if I’m making any sense. All I know is that I’m at a phase where the stakes have never been higher, and our trust in the Lord is not only an opportunity, but a privilege; not merely optional, but critical for us to not only survive but thrive.
In light of recent events, our prayer remains: (1) We are hurt, (2) we need Him more, and (3) we want Him glorified to the maximum in everything.
We (1) love one another, and (2) pray for each other.
Not sure if I’m making ANY sense in all this but it just feels good to let it all out. The newlywed couple were a couple of writers, and I was challenged (1) to take my writing another level and (2) to keep at it regarding what we recently realized (creations are memories and prayers).
Also, if you made it this far, I’m not sure why… but thanks, I guess.
I’ll do better next time.
Till then, may the Lord bless us all, more and more.
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