You’d think I’d be typing all that’s coming out of my head right now because I’m making up for all the days I haven’t been writing a thousand words a day. Truth be told, it isn’t that big of a chore, considering all that’s still in my brain, even right now.
I mean, I was about to turn in and call it a night, but here I am, foolishly typing on and on, as if I had even more to say beyond the usual – that I’m going through a lot right now, or I’m making it seem that way at the very least, and all I have to say about it is that through it all, my God will never let me go, nor shall He abandon me or forget about me.
I guess it’s a line, a thought worth repeating. You ever hear of how, when it comes to our salvation, the Word enters our brain through our ears (just as we say faith comes by hearing), and makes its way to our hearts? Well, in my repeating in so many words, and in article after article, about how God is faithful to me in all that impacts my believing and overall living, I believe we’ve come to a point in our salvation where it works the other way around – that is, whatever is in our hearts has to make its way back to our brains.
I’ve been praying again and again, and it helps, because what I do speak out, I hear, and the cycle continues – faith arises as I hear my own words. I quote Scripture in prayer, and this Word makes its way to the mind through me hearing myself, and my heart is refreshed.
But here and now I’m also realizing that in my writing, I’m working out my salvation by way of moving from the inside out – that is, pushing out what’s in my heart – Scriptures and emotions allowing my mind to groove.
Jim Kwik says that when the body grooves, the mind moves; I think that those of us in the body of Christ would be quick to realize that, in our meditation, and in my case, in my writing, when the heart moves, the mind grooves in step as well.
Again, I’m not even sure if I’m making any sense here, but, well, if you’ve been with me for the past couple of days as I literally squeeze everything out of my mind and out of my brain as a result of what’s going on around me and within me, I suppose the least I could do right now is to thank you, and also, to apologize.
I should be seeking the Lord but all I’m doing now is just pushing out word after word, as if I’m making space in my brain for more space for my brain to move, what with all that I’m feeling.
And if I’m honest, it’s not all negative thoughts. In fact, I’d say a good chunk of what I’m really feeling right now is excitement, that if not matches, surpasses the worry and the negativity…
…and, yeah, sure, the regret as well. Part of me supposes that the best way to honor that which I have lost is to let it go.
And I’ve said it before: The best way to honor someone who doesn’t want to be found is to let that person go.
There’s still a lot of regret, and a lot of words to match it. And to be honest, I’m not about to take my own advice – part of me still holds out in hope. However, no matter how I approach it, I’m just thankful, in the abundance of words, and in the absence of any logic or sense, that even if I’m not able to make anything make sense, Christ remains to be all.
That’s right. I mean, I know I could certainly acknowledge Him as my Anchor, or rather, the hope I have in and through Him as an Anchor to my soul… however, I know what I said when I just said that He is all, and IN all – Not merely in the center, but in all that involves me.
At around this time I find some comfort in St. Patrick’s Breastplate… and I’d like to share it here:
I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the Threeness,
Through confession of the Oneness
of the Creator of creation.
I arise today
Through the strength of Christ’s birth with His baptism,
Through the strength of His crucifixion with His burial,
Through the strength of His resurrection with His ascension,
Through the strength of His descent for the judgment of doom.
I arise today
Through the strength of the love of cherubim,
In the obedience of angels,
In the service of archangels,
In the hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
In the prayers of patriarchs,
In the predictions of prophets,
In the preaching of apostles,
In the faith of confessors,
In the innocence of holy virgins,
In the deeds of righteous men.
I arise today, through
The strength of heaven,
The light of the sun,
The radiance of the moon,
The splendor of fire,
The speed of lightning,
The swiftness of wind,
The depth of the sea,
The stability of the earth,
The firmness of rock.
I arise today, through
God’s strength to pilot me,
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s shield to protect me,
God’s host to save me
From snares of devils,
From temptation of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
afar and near.
I summon today
All these powers between me and those evils,
Against every cruel and merciless power
that may oppose my body and soul,
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom,
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft of idolatry,
Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man’s body and soul;
Christ to shield me today
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that there may come to me an abundance of reward.
Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the Threeness,
Through confession of the Oneness
of the Creator of creation.
I know I definitely wrote about this before – more than 10 years ago, according to my calculations, and this may not come to anyone’s surprise, but I’m pretty sure I talked about it, or wrote about it with some feelings related to the same regret I feel today.
Those final words strike me today, and I write about them now, to ‘sync’ my mind with my heart, and vice versa.
For indeed, Christ is with me, before me, behind me, and so on. And, well, I’d like to add, that just as Christ is to be in the heart of every person who thinks about me, may Christ also be in the heart of every person I think of. May Christ be in the mouth of everyone I speak of, just as He is in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me.
May Christ be in everyone my eyes see, as Christ is in every eye that sees me. May Christ be in every one I hear, just as Christ is in every ear that hears me. May Christ be in everyone I’ve hurt, and everyone who has hurt me. May Christ be in everyone I’ve abandoned, and everyone who abandoned me.
Gosh, I thought I’d end there, but I find myself going backwards, by way of appending to the previous section: I summon today all these powers between me and those evils, against cycles of pain received to pain given, and, indeed, Against every knowledge that corrupts man’s body and soul, which includes sin planted in us ever since childhood.
And I COULD actually keep going until I’ve appended to the entire prayer… but, well, with all that’s added, I’ve decided to end here and really call it a night… but not before ending properly.
Because if St. Patrick arises today, I lay down on my bed and rest,
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the Threeness,
Through confession of the Oneness
of the Creator of creation.
Until next time, God bless us all, greatly and abundantly.
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