In Vulnerability – May 27, 2024 (152/365)

‘Call out Your name in the darkness

and watch as Your glory unfolds…’

In the massive, collective facade of all that I have in my mind that I’m aware of is going on, I find myself overwhelmed and frustrated, mostly because it seems I’m not finding any rest. The obligations imposed upon me by others are encroaching upon my own personal rituals, my personal approaches to success – actions and habits which I believe compound upon themselves to have exponential returns.

What frustrates me more is that I am slightly aware that I can find rest in Christ. I mean, I wrote somewhere before, lamenting on how I didn’t know where my rest would be (location-wise) so I settled it with myself at the time through writing, and I wrote that wherever I am, I am home, and wherever I’m home, I find rest.

Not really feeling a lot of that right now, and it’s not really a fault of the ‘home’, more than it is my apparent miscalculations of just how bad it is out there compared to what’s going on within.

In fact, if I’m going to be straight to the point, I’ll just say that the more evil you see outside, in terms of both quantity and quality, you find out (1) just how small you are, and more importantly (2) just how corrupt you are.

Fortunately, it’s during these times that we are more likely to finally give in to the leadings of the Holy Spirit – that is, the convictions and the reminders He gives us per John 16, where He continually reminds those in the body of Christ, convicts them rather, of their righteousness.

And, more than this is an adjective, it is a reminder of our location – that is, our blood-bought righteousness is right-standing before the Creator of the Universe, and all that is seen and unseen.

It’s a reminder of our proximity – that is, that we have been made so close to God by the power of the Holy Spirit, through whom we call our Creator our Father.

He is with us, and He is close to us. And perhaps that’s what I need to remember today – or, well, I’ll meditate on this: That the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit find their home in me, no matter how un-homely(?) I may be, no matter how overwhelmed I am by internal dialogue or external condemnation, no matter if I feel at home or not.

Speaking of rituals, I’ve finally made progress by way of finishing another book, and another course as of yesterday. I could have jumped into opening a new book and jumping into a new course today, but, again, in the light of all that’s going on, I suppose the Holy Spirit should get some credit in getting me to break out the old guitar… and to just praise God. To sing to the Lord. To shout out to Him.

Yes, the call is to worship – in the awareness of how insignificant I am on my own in this vast, hostile universe, and how hopelessly corrupt I would be on my own, based on what goes on within or around me.

Indeed, as we cast everything aside and force ourselves to involve and immerse more of our beings into the faithful presence of God, and the more we push ourselves to sing out and cry out to Him versus following our fleshly, base desires of comfort… we find ourselves doing ourselves and the reality we’re in a greater service.

‘Our God, our God has done great things

Our God, greater than all…’

We worship and help ourselves, even if it’s just to remember that it’s about Christ and what He does, did, and will do for us… and as we preach the Word to ourselves, according to the Word, faith comes by hearing. If nobody else is around to speak the Word, or to sing it, the beautiful truth is that the Holy Spirit causes us to do the speaking and singing, so we could hear it.

I don’t know if I’m making any sense here, and I feel I’m going in circles… but I guess my main point here is that we see the Light, and we really do especially in the darkness.

In our feeling lost and astray, let us find calm in the truth that the Lord has made His home in us… so we would enjoy peace, in Him.

I’m in that familiar state of limbo right now – Or, I call it limbo, where my ‘problems’ don’t seem to have gotten any better or worse, but I’ve praised myself to some degree of exhaustion, to the point that I’m not as concerned or worried as I would have been with the extra energy.

With that said, well, all I’m saying now is, all my burdens are at my Father’s feet.

Not sure why you’ve made it this far through this ‘article’, but I appreciate it. I hope you found some value in my rambling.

All of the praise unto Your name

Be lifted higher

All of the praise unto Your name

Forever

Until the next post, God bless you.

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