May this point away from our sufficiency, and to deeper dependency in Christ.
May all the words shine His light, that all would see the Living Word.
May His unrivaled, infinite grace be known, that all would give Him glory.
I Went In, I Knew Not Where
By St. John of the Cross
Translated by Rhina P. Espaillat
https://www.firstthings.com/article/2006/12/i-went-in-i-knew-not-where
I went in, I knew not where
and stayed, not knowing, but going
past the boundaries of knowing.
I knew not the place around me,
how I came there or where from,
but seeing where then I found me,
I sensed great things, and grew dumb—
since no words for them would come—
lacking all knowledge, but going
past the boundaries of knowing.
Of piety and of peace
I had perfect comprehension;
solitude without surcease
showed the straight way, whose intention—
too secret for me to mention—
left me stammering, but going
past the boundaries of knowing.
So wholly rapt, so astonished
was I, from myself divided,
that my very senses vanished
and left me there unprovided
with knowledge, my spirit guided
by learning unlearned, and going
past the boundaries of knowing.
He who reaches that place truly
wills himself from self to perish;
all he lately knew, seen newly,
seems trifles unfit to cherish;
his new knowledge grows to flourish
so that he lingers there, going
past the boundaries of knowing.
The higher up one is lifted,
the less one perceives by sight
how the darkest cloud has drifted
to elucidate the night;
He who knows the dark aright
endures forever, by going
past the boundaries of knowing.
This wisdom, wise by unknowing,
wields a power so complete
that the learned wise men throwing
wisdom against it compete
with a force none can defeat,
since their wisdom makes no showing
past the boundaries of knowing.
There is virtue so commanding
in this high knowledge that wit,
human skill and understanding
cannot hope to rival it
in one who knows how to pit
against self his selfless going
past the boundaries of knowing.
And if you should care to learn
what this mode of being wise is,
it is yearnings that discern
the Divine in all its guises,
whose merciful gift and prize is
to confound all knowledge, going
past the boundaries of knowing.
Learning beyond learning is as a place; and a place to merely be in, not to ‘know’ in. Beyond learning, you know everything (great things) and nothing (grew dumb) – and the latter in particular, because beyond learning all you know is nothing. Beyond learning is peace – a peace that leads all to absolute silence, for it leaves us struggling and failing for words. Beyond learning, all effort to make sense makes no sense. And as we are devoid of knowledge, all that’s left is for our spirit to be guided; again, by learning beyond learning. Beyond learning, we’ve established that all we know is nothing… but is also, everything. Yes, confounding.
Whether higher or lesser, the clouds separate the darkness from the night; and though darkness lasts forever, so we would endure… beyond learning, past the boundaries of knowing. True wisdom makes its showing behind learning and past the boundaries of knowing. For all our knowledge and even the ‘wisdom’ we claim to have, it makes ‘no showing’. While we find ourselves seeing the appeal, and even yearning to go beyond learning, it is futile, just as it is inhuman. We’re called to it but cannot reach it, much less rival it.
Beyond learning, and past the boundaries of knowing, nothing means everything, and everything means nothing.
Beyond learning, and past the boundaries of knowing, any attempts to contain, obtain or to express what our finite senses perceive are futile.
Beyond learning, and past the boundaries of knowing, all we call wisdom makes ‘no showing’, and all knowledge we claim to have is ‘lacking’.
Beyond learning, and past the boundaries of knowing are the Divine; wisdom beyond wisdom, knowledge beyond knowledge, beyond borders, beyond time… Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, great and glorious.
I have reason to believe that this may be what we ought to keep in mind, as we, in our limited thoughts, ponder on what it means to be seated in the heavenly places with Christ:
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 2:4-7
And for what reason do we make such a bold claim? What benefit would it be to us to know this? That we would see ‘the immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness towards us’
But then again, it is not up to us to see, but for Him to ‘show’. In 2 Corinthians 4:7-18 Paul shares:
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.
Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
In darkness, light shines… Much so that we are not crushed, not driven to despair, not forsake, not destroyed.
In death, life is shown to us… Much so that though we subject ourselves to death, the life of Christ would be manifested in our flesh.
Our existence would mean nothing and fade into nothing on our own in the infinite and the eternal.
Fortunately, we are not on our own – for our Savior is seated at the right hand of the Father, and He is with us.
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
John 14:26-27
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:4-7
That one song by Chris Tomlin goes, ‘Incomparable, unchangeable, You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same…’
Instead of our trying to understand, the Holy Spirit, the Helper teaches us and reminds us.
It’s not us who tries to calm ourselves down, but we depend on the peace that Christ, the Prince of Peace, gives to us, and leave us.
And even then, it’s not up to us to understand this peace – it’s nothing we can attain or grasp in this world. The unfailing Truth of Christ’s peace guarantees that we will never be permanently troubled, nor shall we be so easily frightened.
Consequently, I dare say that this peace through Christ would have us rejoice, and rejoice again. This is a peace that leads us to prayer, and through prayer, we would find peace.
It’s not up to us to grasp eternity… rather, for us to allow our Eternal Father to embrace us.
I’ve been consistent in closing our services with the Aaronic blessing, but somehow I believe, that through Christ seated in the right hand of the Father, not only do we impart peace to others (as the end of the said blessing), but we also rejoice, knowing that this peace we have is one that (1) is from Christ, (2) not as the world gives, (3) surpasses all understanding, and (4) guards our hearts and minds, regarding our past, for our future, and in the present.
Beyond learning, and past the boundaries of knowing… we have peace, for Christ is there.
Christus Victor.
Christus Salvator.
Christus Est, Ergo Sum.
Ave Christus Rex.
115000/365000
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