Something shared last Sunday:
Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD has risen upon you.
For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and thick darkness the peoples;
but the LORD will arise upon you, and his glory will be seen upon you.
And nations shall come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising.
Isaiah 60:1-3
I understand that this is a word given from Isaiah to the people of Israel… But I feel, first of all, that Christ was the fulfillment of this prophecy, and as such, He has fulfilled it not merely for Israel, but for Israel AND the entire body of Christ – both Jew and Gentile.
Yesterday we lost our internet connection for the entire day, and I could check today if we have it restored… the only problem is today, our house was part of a scheduled brownout for ‘maintenance’.
So, indeed, darkness has covered… well, our house, at least, but I’m feeling some of that thick darkness, if I’m being honest.
Let me explain. No electricity means no internet, and no internet means less stimulation; and the way I was acting this morning made me realize, man, so much of my being is dependent on these artificial sources of entertainment. I was actually pretty open about it to the congregation I was serving, saying that even as I did something as quick and simple as putting my shoes on, I’d take twice the time to scramble for my phone, and open a YouTube video while I take… oh, half a minute to put ’em on?
So take that out for a day or two and, well, I felt the repercussions a while back, before stepping out to drive to somewhere that actually had electricity and internet. See, in the absence of the stimuli, the thoughts that I felt I found easy to set aside suddenly launched its own Operation D-Day on my mental Normandy.
“Look at how much you’ve been entrusted with, and look at how much you have left. Look at how much you lost.”
“I tried to be sustainable, but I failed miserably.”
“You used to be pretty fit, but now you’re barely maintaining from getting fatter.”
“Look at your house. Look at all you say you have. You call yourself a good steward?”
…Darkness. Thick darkness.
But I find solace in the Word that was apparently for me today, that was shared by my Worship Team last Sunday. Because, yes, we acknowledge the darkness, and now I see the terror and the grief that goes along with the thick darkness…
But it’s the Lord who would rise. I may remain in the depths, but just as the Israelites found hope, so I thank God for Christ who won me the same hope – to proclaim that in my fall, it’s the Lord who rises… and in all my predicaments, and in all my affliction, it is the glory of the Lord will be seen upon me.
Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
I shouldn’t be sharing this, much less journaling about it. This is probably yet another reason why that one dude spoke out against journaling, claiming that it’s not the manly or masculine thing to do. I see where he’s coming from, somehow – Just as you don’t show and tell people of your plans, nor should you be so quick to share to one and all of your successes, there is seemingly nothing to gain from sharing of your weaknesses, for one and all to see. And especially on the internet – Everything stays on the internet.
But here you have it – Paul was open with the Corinthians, in this second epistle to them, that he, first of all, proclaims them as they are – his weaknesses. He’s fully aware of his insecurities and his flaws and vulnerabilities, and he would gladly boast of them, even for posterity’s sake… “so that the power of Christ may rest upon me”
And I suppose this is why I write today. It’s true. I’ve been entrusted with so much, and I feel like the fourth servant in Matthew 25. Yes, the fourth one. The first two doubled what was entrusted to them. The wicked third one didn’t care to do anything with what was entrusted to him, hiding it and giving it back to his master, even telling him to his face that he thought he was the wicked one, getting what he didn’t work for.
I feel like the fourth one who was entrusted with so much, and I wanted to double what was given to me, down to just being profitable, but I failed. And in the wake of my failure, everything else that I didn’t care about as much as I should have, now comes to the light. Apparently, just like I’ve been placing my trust on all the social media and the gaming, and all that… I’ve also been placing my trust in money.
A rich man’s wealth is his strong city, and like a high wall in his imagination.
Proverbs 18:11
I boast of loss. I boast of the repercussions of all that I’ve set aside through the years. I boast of rejection, and all the bad decisions I’ve made in my own relationships. I boast of the regret, the frustration, the anxiety…
So that the power of Christ may rest upon me. So that the glory of the Lord would be seen upon me.
I have absolutely no idea how I could be rescued from all that I threw myself into… but that’s not the point. I’m just thankful, that even now, in all this darkness, His glory shines brighter. In all this weakness, His power rests upon me.
I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah
Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him.
You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.
Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD.
Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!
Psalms 32:5-11
In other Scripture, we see how we can acknowledge our Father in all our ways… And He directs our paths. He establishes our thoughts. With all mentioned today, and with all in my mind, I also acknowledge Him in the sin and iniquity…. I remain thankful to Him in the weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities, and He would STILL instruct me and teach me.
As an exclamation point I’m playing something I haven’t played for the longest time – Praise Is What I Do by Shekinah Glory Ministry. Man, that bridge/coda used to get to me… and it’s getting to me now.
What a faithful God we have. What a great and good Father, what a faithful God we have.
Thank You so much, Father. Jesus. Holy Spirit. Thank You.
And as the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I’ll lift my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
So I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I cry
You hold in Your hands
You never left my side
Though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
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#2024YearOfTrust #Psalm #Vulnerability #Praise #Worship #Bible #Reflections #Revelations #GodsLove #GodsMercy #Faithfulness #TrustInGod
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