Psalm 39 – March 11, 2026 (101/365)

Thank You, Lord, for the reading of Your Word.

Call this a coping mechanism, call this me going through the motions, but man… I don’t know what else to do.

I’m just placing all my trust in His Word, moving along with all that happens; Moving, sure, with the vision in mind, but, God forgive me, I don’t seem to have any drive to step up.

But, before anything else, truly – Thank You, Lord, for the reading of Your Word.

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Psalm 39

What Is the Measure of My Days?

TO THE CHOIRMASTER: TO JEDUTHUN. A PSALM OF DAVID.

1 I said, “I will guard my ways, that I may not sin with my tongue; I will guard my mouth with a muzzle, so long as the wicked are in my presence.”

2 I was mute and silent; I held my peace to no avail, and my distress grew worse.

Apparently silence doesn’t help – Not for David back then, and definitely not for me today. Yeah, because when we’re meditating, we’re still doing something. We’re quiet, but we’re thinking. Diving deeper into His Word. Visualizing. Imagining. Looking at things from other perspectives, and uncovering revelations as they come up.

We aren’t silent, at all – lest we run the risk of being swallowed in unspeakable anxiety. I’m imagining a Lovecraftian scene where we are in the middle of nothing but cosmic darkness stretching for infinite miles in all directions.

3 My heart became hot within me. As I mused, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue:

4 “O LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am!

5 Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Selah

And, actually, keeping that scene in mind; Our minds would break at the sheer ‘weight’ of the silent, vast black of blacks… But it also gives us an idea of just how small we are, and how short of a time we have, even with time itself, from beginning to end, being a blip on its own compared to eternity.

For David to describe our existence as mere breath is already grace! An entire lifetime of so-called experiences, with its own rollercoaster of emotions, with all our triumphs and defeats, all our fleeting and all our striving – it’s all NOTHING before our infinite and eternal Creator.

How could we even say that we have something to show for ourselves? I am a mere grain of sand on an infinite beach.

6 Surely a man goes about as a shadow! Surely for nothing they are in turmoil; man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather!

7 “And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.

8 Deliver me from all my transgressions. Do not make me the scorn of the fool!

9 I am mute; I do not open my mouth, for it is you who have done it.

10 Remove your stroke from me; I am spent by the hostility of your hand.

11 When you discipline a man with rebukes for sin, you consume like a moth what is dear to him; surely all mankind is a mere breath! Selah

Yet with all this in mind, David calls out to the One who stands above the endless darkness. This grain of sand, humbled in all that’s happening, all that’s happened, and all that’s to come – knowing that all of it, being heavy and overbearing from his point of view, he chooses to set his hope on the Maker of all things seen and unseen, in all shapes and sizes.

The vastness of the world is overwhelming. Our sheer smallness in all that’s going on is, at best, humbling. Indeed, what else CAN we do, but to call upon the One who is infinitely superior to all creation?

12 “Hear my prayer, O LORD, and give ear to my cry; hold not your peace at my tears! For I am a sojourner with you, a guest, like all my fathers.

13 Look away from me, that I may smile again, before I depart and am no more!”

I’ve nothing to show for myself, and as all things, I shall eventually fade.

Yet, sobering as that is, it’s not by my own motivation/inspiration that I keep typing – not by my so-called power, or my imaginary might… but by the Holy Spirit.

At this moment, there’s nothing else that matters, nothing else that I see of value, more than the Holy Spirit – the One whom the Word mentions is the guarantee of my salvation.

By the Spirit, I am convicted of my salvation, convicted of my right-standing with God.

And in this moment I am reminded of the first words of Solomon in Ecclesiastes – that everything is meaningless… and, truly, everything is.

But may we eventually come to the same conclusion at the end of the book – that we would fear the Lord, and obey His commandments.

It’s when everything falls that we realize the grace and glory of the One who rose up.

Because this isn’t a precursor to a ‘comeback’ of sorts, more than it is a testimony of Christ being everything, especially in the nothing.

Oh, indeed, my words are as those of David – my hope is in You, Father.

My hope is in You.

You stand as our faithful, victorious Father in spite of the barrage of absolute defeats.

Our hope is on You, and we wait on You to uphold us with Your righteous right hand.

Vindicate us, Father, for our grief is overwhelming.

Vindicate me, Father, for my regret is heavy.

You are our very present help. You are faithful and true, through all of it.

You remain as a steadfast Light, in this aimless darkness.

Open our eyes. Restore our minds, souls, and spirits.

Uplift me. Direct me. Inspire me. Give me vision.

Restore to me, the joy of Your salvation.

My hope is in You, Father.

My hope is in You.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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