…stuff from the Notebook, September 28, 2025:
Let’s start with how I was feeling earlier. I finished preaching, and we proceeded with our Church Anniversary Celebration extension – the initiative of our afternoon service, specifically. You’d think that I’d be happy about the entire thing, but there I was, being, well, a mopey dick.
I think it all stemmed from my assessment of who I am today compared to who I was 2019. I also think it’s all coming from the threats to my household, to my mom, and to my brothers and their families… And, putting these two together, how I lack the power to do anything at this point in time… more than to pray, that is. More than to declare – because, really, what else is there for me to do??
What do I have for myself – all that I CAN do is to pray. All that I CAN do is to declare. Sure, I can confront, I do need to work, I can do a lot with what resources and skills I have left – But all I really have, from my assessment, is the Word.
Funny, because in the aforementioned celebration, there I was, wishing it would all be finished and food would be served… But while waiting, I’ve had to endure the painfully long intros to minus-one tracks for karaoke videos in which contestants would not only name that tune, but sing that song… and one of the songs (with a specifically long intro) was Bon Jovi’s Living On A Prayer.
Ladies and gents, the story of my life, which supposedly began when I turned 40 – I am Living On A Prayer.
6 Blessed be the LORD! For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.
7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.
Psalm 28:6-7
My great God, my everlasting Father, who loves me with love everlasting… Thank You for these times, and thank You for these moments.
In these times where I am at wits’ end, or I am simply intimidated by everything coming my way… Forgive my cowardice, forgive my desire to put comfort above all else. Forgive me for my selfishness, and, again, my comfort – at the expense of other people, and other things.
Help my indolence. Help my unbelief. I preach to others of how we ought to take in Your glory and grace, that we would flow in Your love naturally and powerfully… But here I am, eating my own words… Forgive my hypocrisy. HELP my hypocrisy.
Father… help me. I hate this feeling… But surprisingly, I want to thank You. Thank You, Father, because even in these internal affairs, You show Yourself as faithful. Gives me all the more reason to be real with You, and to even be open to whoever cares to read this… Because, more than they could ever gather from my ramblings, not only to You see these words, but with supernatural intent, care and curiosity, You not only see and read.. You read between the lines.
For this, Father, two things. Thank You, and HELP!
In the name of Jesus, my Lord, my Savior and King, HELP me, Father! Oh, I trust in You.
Jesus – the name of Jesus – over my own Mom. I give thanks, for by Jesus’ stripes, my Mom is healed. My brothers are healed. Our families are healed.
Right now I venture to declare that my God, who is my Father, is the Maker of Time and Space, and is therefore unhindered by time and space. I give thanks, because the Maker of Time is my Father by way of Christ’s finished work… And, as such, I claim the promises of the Word, particularly where it is mentioned that He would make up for all the time I’ve wasted – And, man, you could bet that someone like me has wasted a LOT of time.
Oh, more reason for me to trust, to pray, and to declare! For, indeed, He works all this for the good of those who love Him.
More reason for me to take heart, even before the fear of rejection and fear of conflict – Because (1) I’m never alone, and (2) the Spirit not only speaks FOR me but FROM me, (3) the same Spirit works in my heart and mind, and surely He works in hearts, minds, and for the right timing.
Help me, LORD! Thank You, because all who trust in You are NEVER put to shame.
Glory and honor to You, almighty Father, now and forever. Amen.
from September 29, 2025
Just read something about how our decisions impact our past just as much as our future. That CS Lewis already wrote about this before science eventually caught up years later.
I suppose this is huge for me – or for anyone my age, with an increased list of regrets.
from September 30, 2025
Not to sound all metaphysical, mystic, or gnostic, but it’s fascinating – I mean, I’m very interested in the prospect of seeing more into what I know – that is, how the LORD makes ALL things work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
Much more coming soon. I need to get a whole lot out of my chest before hopping back into work this coming Monday.
May the Lord continue to bless and keep us. May He continue to be glorified in all things.
Amen.
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