Necessary reprogramming.
Not enough to pray. Not enough to lash all out, not enough to pour it all out. There has to be control. A steady stream of thought, of all things that want to come out, if only so I could have a grasp of things. I need to hold it all at bay and let it all out, one word at a time, just so what comes out is under my watch, while anything and everything that does remain and expires, expires.
I know I’m not making any sense right now but I just need to go ahead and get a grip before I take one more look at what I was supposed to be doing. Like I said, praying helped, but I think this – yes, this right here, this random yet controlled output can give me a little more control.
Now with all that said:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.
His mercies never come to an end.
His mercies are new with every morning.
Great…
Indeed, great is His faithfulness.
Great is His faithfulness, in that it is ever present and always full and complete, even when the faith we claim to have is faltering. Great is HIS faithfulness, even – well, ESPECIALLY when we seem to be faithless. For here I see another perspective of the faith we have – Which, by the way, is not any sort of faith we generated on our own, but was authored into us, authored, composed, written by no less than Jesus Christ. That is one benefit we have, one part of the salvation He paid so dearly for us to enjoy – that we would have faith, not according to how we understand it, if we could even grasp it; No, the faith that we have was courtesy of Jesus Christ, our Savior, who is also the Author and Finisher of our faith.
Today I see that this faith that we have is one that points away from ourselves, and one that points to God – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – and HIS faith. In other words, the faith we received points us to the faithfulness of God. Faith to faith, faith in faith.
To know that God is faithful to us in spite of our mistakes… To know, and to take in that the Creator of the Universe and all that is seen and unseen remains fully faithful and for us, not against us, in spite of all the wrong that we do, whether we are aware or unaware of our wrongdoings, or whether what blunders and stumbling was intentional or unintentional… Oh, that’s what I’m running to right now.
In our mistakes we recognize the end of ourselves – rather, we realize our own unreliability, but the faith Christ authored into us points us to the reliability, and the faithfulness of God. And I’m certainly recognizing it right now.
For in spite of my understanding that the stakes are higher than ever, in spite of my awareness of the fact that things have never been so sensitive and volatile as they are today, I still make mistakes. But even in this, I thank God.
Sin and despair, like the sea-waves cold,
Threaten the soul with infinite loss;
Grace that is greater– yes, grace untold–
Points to the Refuge, the mighty Cross.
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin!
I give thanks to God for life, for His love, mercy and truth… and here, I give thanks to God, for through Christ, there is grace. HIS grace.
His grace is greater. His grace has always been greater.
So I pray, not only for ourselves, but for anyone and everyone who’s cared to read this up until now:
May the grace of God minister to us, as a refuge we could run to, whenever we find ourselves in danger.
May the grace of God minister to us as a rock we could stand on, that we would not be fully shaken by this reality and all that surrounds us.
May the grace of God, won for us by the finished work of Christ, minister to us, as nourishment to our bodies, that we would be upright amidst the lies and the lack.
Father, restore to us the joy of our salvation, By the power of the Holy Spirit, by your grace, and in the name of Christ our Savior, amen.
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JB's Personal Brain Defragmenter 
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