Matter over Mind

The body is willing but the spirit is weak. My mind is probably still on vacation. I see the blinding lights which simulate daylight. I hear countless voices, with the words ‘Ma’am’, ‘Sir’, and ‘Internet’ heard constantly in the resultant cacophony, like an endless techno track that only a few would listen to, much less dance to. I smell nothing; Second-Hand Smoke is tough to avoid in these places. I just tasted water. The after-taste of the coffee I had a few hours back is kicking in, and this Cloret will probably do something about that.

Hmmm. Mint.

I have all the proof in the world to convince myself where I am… But here I am, with Notepad open, just typing off what I have in mind. I am in no way close to finishing work, if I indeed have any ‘work’ – This past week up to today I have been doing nothing close to what my colleagues have been achieving here. Wait. Now that I give more thought to it, I don’t think ANY of us have been achieving anything close to what we are expected to finish here. I mean, we could be doing something, but suddenly people go ahead and tell us to drop it to do something else. The uncertainty of what you do in the workplace here is unnerving, oftentimes frustrating since when we are told to do something else, it has to be done yesterday, and it’s usually the result of someone up there screwing up.

I had to hear this from my brother last Sunday night: “You don’t know how to prioritize.”

Apparently I haven’t learned to manage my time more effectively since the last time I talked about it. Apparently there are problems in what I thought I should have done.

Apparently, something is still wrong.

Is it my fault that the world I live in is never, NEVER definite?

I keep saying that I could not control anything else in this world but how I react. I guess I also thought that controlling how I react can give me control over anything else in this world.

I have not completely surrendered yet.

I wouldn’t want to go any lower just to learn how to surrender.

What’s the best way to react?

Praise God for bringing this into mind.

…and God bless you.